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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What is one thing you never done but would like to do?

작성자: 김*경
2022-06-28 278

회원님의 영작문

I have an old dream to travel around world with my family including my dad and mom at least over a month which is long enough for me to get away from everything and to focus on myself and my family. Just thinking of my beloved family on a nice cruise ship makes me happy.
The reason why I haven't even challenged this dream is that it takes me a lot of money and time to do it. As a salary worker, it is out of the question to take so many days off to travel around the world. And I can’t afford financially to get on a luxurious ship with 7 people for such a long period. However, I would like to achieve that dream someday.
If I go on with that dream, I bet I can make that dream come true someday as a magic.
Another dream that I want to achieve is that I run my own business after early retirement. I want to make as much money as I do on the contrary to the salary workers who get paid a set amount of money monthly. This dream can be possible after retirement that I have never done it.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

This was a well-written essay, I enjoyed reading it. There are a few minor corrections and I hope you get to read it. I can relate to this Steve, it’s difficult to spend time with our families especially when we’re working, but I applaud your eagerness in wanting that for yourself. - Teacher Ivy

I have an old dream to travel around world with my family including my dad and mom at least over a month which is long enough for me to get away from everything and to focus on myself and my family.

>> I have an old dream to travel around the world with my family including my dad and mom for at least over a month which is long enough for me to get away from everything and to focus on myself and my family.

Just thinking of my beloved family on a nice cruise ship makes me happy.

>> Correct
The reason why I haven't even challenged this dream is that it takes me a lot of money and time to do it.

>> The reason why I haven't even challenged this dream is that it takes a lot of money and time to do it.

As a salary worker, it is out of the question to take so many days off to travel around the world.

>> Correct

And I can’t afford financially to get on a luxurious ship with 7 people for such a long period.

>> Correct

However, I would like to achieve that dream someday.

>> Correct
If I go on with that dream, I bet I can make that dream come true someday as a magic.

>> If I go on with that dream, I bet I can make that dream come true someday as a magic.
Another dream that I want to achieve is that I run my own business after early retirement.

>> Another dream that I want to achieve is to I run my own business after an early retirement.

I want to make as much money as I do on the contrary to the salary workers who get paid a set amount of money monthly.

>> Correct

This dream can be possible after retirement that I have never done it.

>> Correct 

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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
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첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
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문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
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04

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