¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

sad

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-06-27 755

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is very sad news that young people's suicide rate is increasing for whatever reason.

I can found easily depressed children in school after covid 19.

Eating alone and playing games alone such non social activities become a daily routine for people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ms. Lily!
I agree on your point. and thank you for sharing your thought.
Children are very vulnerable with depression because they tend to find ways how to express what they feel. and if a significant person cannot provide that for them. they tend to divert  somethin g else and commonly to smartphones or games.
Have a great day! 
Aki~
It is very sad news that young people's suicide rate is increasing for whatever reason.
>>> CORRECT
I can found easily depressed children in school after covid19.
>>> I can easily find depressed children in school after covid19.
Eating alone and playing games alone such non social activities become a daily routine for people
.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118546 What do you plan on doing when you retire? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 123
118545 Test ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 85
118544 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118543 2022.4.26 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 73
118542 What does the holiday stand for? Why is this holiday celebrated? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 92
118541 best part of my life ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 92
118540 What is your best experience in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 80
118539 Homewark ±è*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 1
118538 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 0
118537 4/26 homework (p≧w≦q) ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 91
118536 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 0
118535 What I want to change in Korea\'s education system. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 72
118534 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 4
118533 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 2
118532 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 1
118531 Writing Task(Apr 26th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 120
118530 What\'s your favorite childhood memory? Explain your answer in... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 45
118529 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 72
118528 What is the difference between urban and rural schools? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 71
118527 Do you like the decoration of your home? Why or Why not? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 68

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04