¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

sad

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-06-27 881

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is very sad news that young people's suicide rate is increasing for whatever reason.

I can found easily depressed children in school after covid 19.

Eating alone and playing games alone such non social activities become a daily routine for people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ms. Lily!
I agree on your point. and thank you for sharing your thought.
Children are very vulnerable with depression because they tend to find ways how to express what they feel. and if a significant person cannot provide that for them. they tend to divert  somethin g else and commonly to smartphones or games.
Have a great day! 
Aki~
It is very sad news that young people's suicide rate is increasing for whatever reason.
>>> CORRECT
I can found easily depressed children in school after covid19.
>>> I can easily find depressed children in school after covid19.
Eating alone and playing games alone such non social activities become a daily routine for people
.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120489 The most interesting German cuisine. ¾È*Çå ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 896
120488 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 747
120487 are older people actually wiser? ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 629
120486 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 794
120485 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 492
120484 About learning English. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1
120483 Is being a vegetarian healthy? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 768
120482 The vacation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1
120481 Describe what your room looks like and give details about the... ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 581
120480 4. homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1492
120479 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1
120478 Can curfews lead to arguments between parents and teens? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 753
120477 Who is the person that you admire the most? . ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1055
120476 What do you both like doing with your closest friend? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 737
120475 Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 809
120474 What was the last thing you returned or exchanged? Why?/ How... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 2
120473 What is your daily routine? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 702
120472 Do you think people make bad decisions because of peer pressure?... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1254
120471 Which is better, renting or buying? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 4
120470 Who influenced you the most in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1485

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04