¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your opinion, what are the possible problems that your country might face with the increasing num

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-06-27 601

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is common that seniors receive more salary than juniors due to the experiences and devotion at their company in my country. We thought that professionalizm can't lenrn in a short time and seniors deserve to be treated well than juniors. However, working environment has changed a lot, juniors have spoken up their voices, they don't want to admit seniors whose perfomance are worse and they want treat employees according to the personal abilities. Owners would like to reduce the labor costs because it is the easiest way to get more profits. Many people who are over 40s are worried about their retirement age. Many employers suggest managers, directors and staffs who are over 50s to retire earlier than expected ages. If employees agree to retire early, companies guarantee give high amount of severance pay. Low birth rate is also related with economic problem and the value of life has changed. People wnat to enjoy their life without any finance burden.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

It is common that seniors receive more salary than juniors due to the experiences and devotion at their company in my country. 
>> CORRECT!
We thought that professionalizm can't lenrn in a short time and seniors deserve to be treated well than juniors. 
>> We thought that professionalism can't be learned in a short time, and seniors deserve to be treated well than juniors. 
However, working environment has changed a lot, juniors have spoken up their voices, they don't want to admit seniors whose perfomance are worse and they want treat employees according to the personal abilities. 
>> However, working environment has changed a lot, juniors have spoken up and raised their voices, they don't want to admit seniors whose perfomances are worse, and they want to treat employees according to the personal abilities. 
Owners would like to reduce the labor costs because it is the easiest way to get more profits. 
>> CORRECT!
Many people who are over 40s are worried about their retirement age. 
>> CORRECT!
Many employers suggest managers, directors and staffs who are over 50s to retire earlier than expected ages. 
>> Many employers suggest managers, directors and staffs who are over 50s to retire earlier than expected. 
If employees agree to retire early, companies guarantee give high amount of severance pay. 
>> CORRECT!
Low birth rate is also related with economic problem and the value of life has changed. 
>> Low birth rate is also related with this economic problem and the value of life has changed. 
People wnat to enjoy their life without any finance burden.
>> People want to enjoy their life without any financial burden.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120955 Homework ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 2
120954 please check my sentence. ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 628
120953 Do they deserve the same level of treatment that we offer to... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 659
120952 Foregin workers ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 1735
120951 homework Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 473
120950 When you treat yourself with food, what do you eat? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 2
120949 Movie Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 3
120948 How much do you care about the clothes you wear? Who do you... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 450
120947 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 1
120946 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 565
120945 Homework for 07.20.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 4
120944 Toy ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 462
120943 Which one do you think is better, getting married early or... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 0
120942 Do you think parents nowadays are different from parents in the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 348
120941 7/20 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2632
120940 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 392
120939 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120938 Are you good with money? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 338
120937 Writing Task(Jul 15th, 2022) ³²*½Â ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 324
120936 Please check my sentence. thanks ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 447

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04