¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who is always there to help you when you need it badly?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*ä
2022-06-24 446

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My order sister always help me. She 28 years old. So we are three years apart. She have many experience more than me. So when I was have some troubles, I asked her for what can I do.

When I was move in the Seoul at that time, I didn't adjust in new area. It's no hard to me and I need to help always.
And I think her need someone too.
In fact, We were help each other.

Last time, when I was going home late at night after part time work. I was scared about some people who drunk.
Once, someone followed me. So I called my sister to pick up me
And she came to me with pleasure.

In opposite situation I helped her also.
When I was not work in company.
It was rainy day, I was going her company to pick her up and bring her umbrella.

Beside that, we shared interested things. We bought something to need each other.

But now we aren't live together anymore. So sometimes I miss her.but we are always bother each other.
My sister is the most reliable and important family for me

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Eun Chae!
Thank you for sharing about your sister.  I hope you read the corrections and take note of the correct ones. ^^

~T, Maine


My order sister always help me. 
>> My older sister always helps me. 
She 28 years old. 
>>She is 28 years old. 
So we are three years apart. 
>>Correct. 
She have many experience more than me. 
>>She has many experiences more than me. 
So when I was have some troubles, I asked her for what can I do.
>>So when I have some troubles, I ask her what to do. 
When I was move in the Seoul at that time, I didn't adjust in new area. 
>>When I moved to Seoul at that time, 
It's no hard to me and I need to help always.
>>It's not hard for me and I always need help. 
And I think her need someone too.
>>And I think she needs someone too. 
In fact, We were help each other.
>>In fact, we help each other. 
Last time, when I was going home late at night after part time work. 
I was scared about some people who drunk.
>>
>>Last time when I was going home late at night after work, I was scared of drunk people. 
Once, someone followed me. So I called my sister to pick up me
>> Once, someone followed me, so I called my sister to pick me up. 
And she came to me with pleasure.
>>Correct. 
In opposite situation I helped her also.
>>As a complement, I also helped her. 
When I was not work in company.
>>It was when I didn't work in the company. 
It was rainy day, I was going her company to pick her up and bring her umbrella.
>>It was a rainy day.  I was going to her company to pick her up and give her umbrella. 
Beside that, we shared interested things. 
>>Besides that, we shared interesting things with each other. 
We bought something to need each other.
>>We bought something we both need. 
But now we aren't live together anymore. 
>>But now, we aren't living together anymore. 
So sometimes I miss her.
>>So sometimes I miss her.   
but we are always bother each other.
>> But we always bother each other. 
My sister is the most reliable and important family for me
>> My sister is the most reliable and important family member for me. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122366 I value and admire the.. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1165
122365 What is the best festival in South Korea? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1415
122364 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 0
122363 Do you think famous people have the right to have a private life? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2118
122362 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1972
122361 What is your opinion about the joint military training of South... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2016
122360 Do you think there should be more rules for drivers in your... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1179
122359 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1
122358 Do you think you have leadership skills? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1
122357 How can we lead exciting lives? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2
122356 describe how you celebrated Chuseok with your family. Use as... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2117
122355 English ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1
122354 Make, compose, or construct two (2) sentences with the adjective... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1075
122353 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1
122352 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1813
122351 Homework ³ë*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2
122350 Homework ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2069
122349 9/15 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2159
122348 Do you think time moves slowly or quickly? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2
122347 Which greeting kind of annoys you? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04