¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

6.23.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-06-23 545

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would say ¡°The United States of America.¡±, only focusing on its power and the influence on the rest of the world.
The country has all of the elements that make it the strongest in the world,
First, it has the land and the population enough to make their own living without hugely being dependent on other nations. Both the size of the land and the number of the population is the third biggest and most each in the world, following the countries like Russia and China. And the population means the labor power.
Second, The energy, especially the Shale oil that has made the States fully self-sufficient in terms of oil demand.
Third, the power of Dollar...etc.
There¡¯s still few other things I want to wright, like the military power or the individualism that has been handed down from their early ancestors who settled in the continent about 400 years ago. But I can¡¯t wright all of them since the letter bytes are only less than 1,000 here on the online board. ^^

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi U Seung!  

Your answer is very informative. I wish the letter byte limit was higher so you would've shared more. :) I hope to be your teacher again in the future by the way. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I would say ¡°The United States of America.¡±, only focusing on its power and the influence on the rest of the world.
>> I would say that it is the United  States of America, only focusing on its power and the influence to the rest of the world.

The country has all of the elements that make it the strongest in the world,
>>  CORRECT

First, it has the land and the population enough to make their own living without hugely being dependent on other nations. 
>> First, it has enough land and the population to make their own living without hugely being dependent on other nations. 

Both the size of the land and the number of the population is the third biggest and most each in the world, following the countries like Russia and China. And the population means the labor power.
>> Both these aspects make it the third biggest country in the world, following by Russia and China. This also means that they have a lot of labor power. 

Second, The energy, especially the Shale oil that has made the States fully self-sufficient in terms of oil demand.
>> Second, they have a lot of energy supply, such as shale oil. This has made this country self-sufficient in terms of oil-demands. 

Third, the power of Dollar...etc.
>> Third, the power of dollar. 

There¡¯s still few other things I want to wright, like the military power or the individualism that has been handed down from their early ancestors who settled in the continent about 400 years ago. 
>> There¡¯s a still few other things I want to write, like the military power or the individualism that has been handed down from their early ancestors who settled in the continent about 400 years ago. 

But I can¡¯t wright all of them since the letter bytes are only less than 1,000 here on the online board. ^^
>> But I can¡¯t write all of them since the letter bytes are only less than 1,000 here on the online board. ^^

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117523 2022.3.18 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-19 866
117522 If you can learn another language, what would it be and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-19 754
117521 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 485
117520 3/18 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 654
117519 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 456
117518 Do you have a different attitude to English homework now than... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 722
117517 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 606
117516 What is bread? How important is bread in your life? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 674
117515 How do you deal with failure? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 677
117514 Does language make the personalities of each nationality... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 502
117513 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 491
117512 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 756
117511 What are some stereotypes that you know about your country? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 749
117510 What is bread? How important is bread in your life? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 883
117509 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1088
117508 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 2
117507 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 0
117506 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 852
117505 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 705
117504 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04