¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

6.23.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-06-23 508

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would say ¡°The United States of America.¡±, only focusing on its power and the influence on the rest of the world.
The country has all of the elements that make it the strongest in the world,
First, it has the land and the population enough to make their own living without hugely being dependent on other nations. Both the size of the land and the number of the population is the third biggest and most each in the world, following the countries like Russia and China. And the population means the labor power.
Second, The energy, especially the Shale oil that has made the States fully self-sufficient in terms of oil demand.
Third, the power of Dollar...etc.
There¡¯s still few other things I want to wright, like the military power or the individualism that has been handed down from their early ancestors who settled in the continent about 400 years ago. But I can¡¯t wright all of them since the letter bytes are only less than 1,000 here on the online board. ^^

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi U Seung!  

Your answer is very informative. I wish the letter byte limit was higher so you would've shared more. :) I hope to be your teacher again in the future by the way. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I would say ¡°The United States of America.¡±, only focusing on its power and the influence on the rest of the world.
>> I would say that it is the United  States of America, only focusing on its power and the influence to the rest of the world.

The country has all of the elements that make it the strongest in the world,
>>  CORRECT

First, it has the land and the population enough to make their own living without hugely being dependent on other nations. 
>> First, it has enough land and the population to make their own living without hugely being dependent on other nations. 

Both the size of the land and the number of the population is the third biggest and most each in the world, following the countries like Russia and China. And the population means the labor power.
>> Both these aspects make it the third biggest country in the world, following by Russia and China. This also means that they have a lot of labor power. 

Second, The energy, especially the Shale oil that has made the States fully self-sufficient in terms of oil demand.
>> Second, they have a lot of energy supply, such as shale oil. This has made this country self-sufficient in terms of oil-demands. 

Third, the power of Dollar...etc.
>> Third, the power of dollar. 

There¡¯s still few other things I want to wright, like the military power or the individualism that has been handed down from their early ancestors who settled in the continent about 400 years ago. 
>> There¡¯s a still few other things I want to write, like the military power or the individualism that has been handed down from their early ancestors who settled in the continent about 400 years ago. 

But I can¡¯t wright all of them since the letter bytes are only less than 1,000 here on the online board. ^^
>> But I can¡¯t write all of them since the letter bytes are only less than 1,000 here on the online board. ^^

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117861 Tell me about a recent news you\'ve read or heard about. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 312
117860 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 510
117859 Do you like to eat fruits? What\'s your favorite one and why? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 0
117858 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 418
117857 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 3
117856 What do you think is the best TV show and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 495
117855 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 546
117854 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 1
117853 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 264
117852 Things I collect. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 486
117851 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 643
117850 Do you prefer playing or watching sports? Why? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 537
117849 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 902
117848 Baby Shark ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 755
117847 How would you describe your personality? Are you happy with your... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 357
117846 What are your favorite desserts? And why? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 658
117845 Tell me about the first time you went to the movie theater? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 656
117844 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 354
117843 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 3
117842 homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 616

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04