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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

6.23.

작성자: 남*승
2022-06-23 473

회원님의 영작문

I would say “The United States of America.”, only focusing on its power and the influence on the rest of the world.
The country has all of the elements that make it the strongest in the world,
First, it has the land and the population enough to make their own living without hugely being dependent on other nations. Both the size of the land and the number of the population is the third biggest and most each in the world, following the countries like Russia and China. And the population means the labor power.
Second, The energy, especially the Shale oil that has made the States fully self-sufficient in terms of oil demand.
Third, the power of Dollar...etc.
There’s still few other things I want to wright, like the military power or the individualism that has been handed down from their early ancestors who settled in the continent about 400 years ago. But I can’t wright all of them since the letter bytes are only less than 1,000 here on the online board. ^^

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi U Seung!  

Your answer is very informative. I wish the letter byte limit was higher so you would've shared more. :) I hope to be your teacher again in the future by the way. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I would say “The United States of America.”, only focusing on its power and the influence on the rest of the world.
>> I would say that it is the United  States of America, only focusing on its power and the influence to the rest of the world.

The country has all of the elements that make it the strongest in the world,
>>  CORRECT

First, it has the land and the population enough to make their own living without hugely being dependent on other nations. 
>> First, it has enough land and the population to make their own living without hugely being dependent on other nations. 

Both the size of the land and the number of the population is the third biggest and most each in the world, following the countries like Russia and China. And the population means the labor power.
>> Both these aspects make it the third biggest country in the world, following by Russia and China. This also means that they have a lot of labor power. 

Second, The energy, especially the Shale oil that has made the States fully self-sufficient in terms of oil demand.
>> Second, they have a lot of energy supply, such as shale oil. This has made this country self-sufficient in terms of oil-demands. 

Third, the power of Dollar...etc.
>> Third, the power of dollar. 

There’s still few other things I want to wright, like the military power or the individualism that has been handed down from their early ancestors who settled in the continent about 400 years ago. 
>> There’s a still few other things I want to write, like the military power or the individualism that has been handed down from their early ancestors who settled in the continent about 400 years ago. 

But I can’t wright all of them since the letter bytes are only less than 1,000 here on the online board. ^^
>> But I can’t write all of them since the letter bytes are only less than 1,000 here on the online board. ^^

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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