¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the best country in the world and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-06-23 567

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best country is Sweden. It's because that country's welfare is the best in the world. But I have to pay half of my salary in taxes. So far, I guess it's a good thing. Because I can't receive the national pension from my generation. The main reason that Korea is aging now and the birth rate is decreasing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic!  

I would love to live in that country as well. They are well disciplined. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think the best country is Sweden. 
>> CORRECT

It's because that country's welfare is the best in the world. 
>> CORRECT

But I have to pay half of my salary in taxes. 
>> If I live there, I have to pay half of my salary in taxes. 

So far, I guess it's a good thing. 
>> CORRECT

Because I can't receive the national pension from my generation. 
>> It's because here in South Korea, I can't receive the national pension from my generation. 

The main reason that Korea is aging now and the birth rate is decreasing.
>> The main reason that South Koreas populations is decreasing and the birth rate is decreasing. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119869 Who do you think is the best president of your country and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 135
119868 Who do you think is the best president of your country and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 0
119867 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 161
119866 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 113
119865 What is your dream house and where do you want it to be? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 0
119864 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 160
119863 Soeun\'s Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 143
119862 When moving in ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 3
119861 What is the best way to learn a language? / What difficulties... ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 101
119860 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 2
119859 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 132
119858 ¤¤ È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 124
119857 Homework for 06.14.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 1
119856 Why are tattoos a popular trend? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 1
119855 6.14 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 147
119854 Who do you think is the best president of your country and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 188
119853 6.14 Writing ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 135
119852 6/14... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 261
119851 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 325
119850 What\'s the best movie. À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 409

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04