¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the best country in the world and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-06-23 664

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best country is Sweden. It's because that country's welfare is the best in the world. But I have to pay half of my salary in taxes. So far, I guess it's a good thing. Because I can't receive the national pension from my generation. The main reason that Korea is aging now and the birth rate is decreasing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic!  

I would love to live in that country as well. They are well disciplined. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think the best country is Sweden. 
>> CORRECT

It's because that country's welfare is the best in the world. 
>> CORRECT

But I have to pay half of my salary in taxes. 
>> If I live there, I have to pay half of my salary in taxes. 

So far, I guess it's a good thing. 
>> CORRECT

Because I can't receive the national pension from my generation. 
>> It's because here in South Korea, I can't receive the national pension from my generation. 

The main reason that Korea is aging now and the birth rate is decreasing.
>> The main reason that South Koreas populations is decreasing and the birth rate is decreasing. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121593 Homework ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1
121592 What do you think are the most important qualities a president... ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 506
121591 08.15.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1
121590 Why is doing volunteer work important? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 593
121589 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 959
121588 Camping ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 2
121587 Have you ever slept outside? If so, explain the situation. Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 3
121586 Are there other languages you would like to learn? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 2
121585 Previous class review À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-14 2
121584 What skill is the easiest to learn? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-14 807
121583 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-14 733
121582 How do you feel about giving up? Is it a good thing or a bad... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-14 1
121581 The visitors ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-13 1
121580 May I ask a favor? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-13 1
121579 Based on your experience, what do you think are the advantages... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-13 1235
121578 What are some reasons why privacy is important for you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-12 1093
121577 Email ±è*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-12 2
121576 What are the pros and cons of eating out? ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-12 1014
121575 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-12 832
121574 About my big family gathering. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-12 644

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04