¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the best country in the world and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-06-23 698

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best country is Sweden. It's because that country's welfare is the best in the world. But I have to pay half of my salary in taxes. So far, I guess it's a good thing. Because I can't receive the national pension from my generation. The main reason that Korea is aging now and the birth rate is decreasing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic!  

I would love to live in that country as well. They are well disciplined. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think the best country is Sweden. 
>> CORRECT

It's because that country's welfare is the best in the world. 
>> CORRECT

But I have to pay half of my salary in taxes. 
>> If I live there, I have to pay half of my salary in taxes. 

So far, I guess it's a good thing. 
>> CORRECT

Because I can't receive the national pension from my generation. 
>> It's because here in South Korea, I can't receive the national pension from my generation. 

The main reason that Korea is aging now and the birth rate is decreasing.
>> The main reason that South Koreas populations is decreasing and the birth rate is decreasing. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121946 My presents. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 866
121945 The reason why I study English. ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 3
121944 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1302
121943 What topics are taboos in your culture? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1
121942 GOAL À±*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 0
121941 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1
121940 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1457
121939 War Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 2
121938 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 717
121937 Please describe the area around your neighborhood ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 1631
121936 How important is English for you in your job or future? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 1
121935 Abortion Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 2
121934 Bothering ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 1
121933 Who takes after your daughter? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 1381
121932 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 1514
121931 Video Games Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-27 2
121930 8/26 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 3248
121929 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 875
121928 HW : What was the best book you have ever read? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1000
121927 Whose opinion matters to you the most? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 899

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04