¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that dogs are man\'s best friend? Explain your thought.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-22 527

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

dog is strange animal. dog is different animal. have you thought why only dogs are so friendly with human? well, there is a research explains why dogs are friendly. it says some wild woolf-ish dogs evolved with human for a long times ago. researchers dispute the time however, people assume that it happened 33,000 years ago. we shared our life with this species more than any other animals. some say why dog started live with human is they had a different gene that feel no fear of human. maybe it engraved in their gene, they believed that human are efficient to have a habitat, shelter, protection, and most likely food.
now it has totally changed story however it has the same way that dog is still be with human.
we share our life with dogs by love. like a family members. dogs evolved to be domestic animal by human hands and also human's life changed. we don't need them to hunt, to protect human. people want to share the life with dogs as it always was.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Lim!
Thank you for your response in your homework. I gave some simple corrections on yor composition but there is nothing to worry about. Also, be mindful of your CAPITALIZATION when you start a new sentence. That's it, in general. Well done!
Have a great day always!
Aki~
dog is strange animal. 
>>> A dog is strange animal. 
dog is different animal.
>>> A dog is a different animal.
OR >>> A dog is a strange and different animal (Put them as one sentence)
have you thought why only dogs are so friendly with human? 
>>> Have you thought about why only dogs are so friendly to humans? 
well, there is a research explains why dogs are friendly. 
>>> Well, there is research that explains why dogs are friendly.
it says some wild woolf-ish dogs evolved with human for a long times ago. 
>>> It says some wild Woolf-ish dogs evolved with humans a long time ago. 
researchers dispute the time however, people assume that it happened 33,000 years ago. 
>>> Researchers dispute the time however, people assume that it happened 33,000 years ago. 
We shared our life with this species more than any other animal. 
>>> CORRECT!
some say why dog started live with human is they had a different gene that feel no fear of human. 
>>> Some say why dogs started to live with humans is they had a different gene that feels no fear of humans. 
maybe it engraved in their gene, they believed that human are efficient to have a habitat, shelter, protection, and most likely food.
>> Maybe it is engraved in their gene, they believed that humans are efficient to have a habitat, shelter, protection, and most likely food.
now it has totally changed story however it has the same way that dog is still be with human.
>>> Now it has totally changed the story however it has the same way that dog is still with the human.
we share our life with dogs by love. like a family members. 
>>> Now it has totally changed the story however it has the same way that dog is still with the human.
we share our lives with dogs by love. like family members. 
dogs evolved to be domestic animal by human hands and also human's life changed. 
>>> dogs evolved to be domestic animals by human hands and also human life changed. 
We don't need them to hunt, to protect humans. people want to share their life with dogs as it always was.
>>We don't need them to hunt, to protect humans. people want to share their life with dogs as it always was.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119204 Do you think North Korea and South Korea will unite soon? Why or... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 0
119203 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 1
119202 The most worthwhile thing a person can do. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 141
119201 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 2
119200 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 82
119199 What are thie things you should consider when planning an event? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 97
119198 What are your plans for this weekend? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 74
119197 Why do you think people collect certain objects? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 2
119196 How do you like to celebrate your birthday this year? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 104
119195 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 85
119194 What can you say about students hiring someone to do their... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 206
119193 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 0
119192 About money ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 11
119191 If you could have three wishes that would come true, what would... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 213
119190 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 64
119189 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 76
119188 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 1
119187 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 1
119186 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 1
119185 Introducing my self Áö*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-05-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04