¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that dogs are man\'s best friend? Explain your thought.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-22 502

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

dog is strange animal. dog is different animal. have you thought why only dogs are so friendly with human? well, there is a research explains why dogs are friendly. it says some wild woolf-ish dogs evolved with human for a long times ago. researchers dispute the time however, people assume that it happened 33,000 years ago. we shared our life with this species more than any other animals. some say why dog started live with human is they had a different gene that feel no fear of human. maybe it engraved in their gene, they believed that human are efficient to have a habitat, shelter, protection, and most likely food.
now it has totally changed story however it has the same way that dog is still be with human.
we share our life with dogs by love. like a family members. dogs evolved to be domestic animal by human hands and also human's life changed. we don't need them to hunt, to protect human. people want to share the life with dogs as it always was.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Lim!
Thank you for your response in your homework. I gave some simple corrections on yor composition but there is nothing to worry about. Also, be mindful of your CAPITALIZATION when you start a new sentence. That's it, in general. Well done!
Have a great day always!
Aki~
dog is strange animal. 
>>> A dog is strange animal. 
dog is different animal.
>>> A dog is a different animal.
OR >>> A dog is a strange and different animal (Put them as one sentence)
have you thought why only dogs are so friendly with human? 
>>> Have you thought about why only dogs are so friendly to humans? 
well, there is a research explains why dogs are friendly. 
>>> Well, there is research that explains why dogs are friendly.
it says some wild woolf-ish dogs evolved with human for a long times ago. 
>>> It says some wild Woolf-ish dogs evolved with humans a long time ago. 
researchers dispute the time however, people assume that it happened 33,000 years ago. 
>>> Researchers dispute the time however, people assume that it happened 33,000 years ago. 
We shared our life with this species more than any other animal. 
>>> CORRECT!
some say why dog started live with human is they had a different gene that feel no fear of human. 
>>> Some say why dogs started to live with humans is they had a different gene that feels no fear of humans. 
maybe it engraved in their gene, they believed that human are efficient to have a habitat, shelter, protection, and most likely food.
>> Maybe it is engraved in their gene, they believed that humans are efficient to have a habitat, shelter, protection, and most likely food.
now it has totally changed story however it has the same way that dog is still be with human.
>>> Now it has totally changed the story however it has the same way that dog is still with the human.
we share our life with dogs by love. like a family members. 
>>> Now it has totally changed the story however it has the same way that dog is still with the human.
we share our lives with dogs by love. like family members. 
dogs evolved to be domestic animal by human hands and also human's life changed. 
>>> dogs evolved to be domestic animals by human hands and also human life changed. 
We don't need them to hunt, to protect humans. people want to share their life with dogs as it always was.
>>We don't need them to hunt, to protect humans. people want to share their life with dogs as it always was.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120840 Watching ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1
120839 Can you describe your current job? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 331
120838 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 474
120837 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 2
120836 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 435
120835 07.18.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 3
120834 Is it more fun to exercise alone or with other people? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 857
120833 Was it hard to live in Australia during your first year? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 2
120832 even ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 459
120831 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 3
120830 What would life be like without weekends? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 2
120829 The Internet Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1
120828 Health ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 465
120827 Do you like visiting the library? / Where is your favorite place... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1
120826 Which city has the most delicious food in your country? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 395
120825 Does social media improve people¡¯s communication skills? Why or... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 0
120824 What have you learned from past failures? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1088
120823 Tell me what you do in your part-time job. ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 966
120822 What is the best present you have ever received? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 888
120821 07.15.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04