¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think getting old is a good thing or a bad thing? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-22 633

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

getting old is beautiful. it means we be wise, be respectful person when we gets older. some other people think the age is privilege. however, it is totally wrong. when we are getting older, we learnt things such as order, world, life, everything that surround us. thus we learn "respect" even whom children, baby. every people have different life, different thoughts. according to the experiences that we had, now we know the life is beautiful and respectful not only my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!  

Yes, we gain more wisdom as we get older. :) 

PS: Make sure to capitalize the first letter of the first word in your sentence. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

getting old is beautiful. 
>> Getting old is beautiful. 

it means we be wise, be respectful person when we gets older. 
>> It means that we become wiser and respectable when we get older. 

some other people think the age is privilege. 
>> Some people think that age is a privilege. 

however, it is totally wrong. 
>> However, it is totally wrong. 

when we are getting older, we learnt things such as order, world, life, everything that surround us. 
>> When we are getting older, we learn more things about the world, life and things that surrounds us. 

thus we learn "respect" even whom children, baby. 
>> Thus, we should learn how to respect everyone, including the ones that are younger than us.

every people have different life, different thoughts. 
>> Every person has different lives and thoughts. 

according to the experiences that we had, now we know the life is beautiful and respectful not only my life.
>> According to the experiences that we had, we will know the beauty of life and be respectful towards other people's lives as well. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120035 Do you like shopping for yourself or for others? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 5
120034 Which one is more comfortable: living in the urban areas or... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 584
120033 my location (Since the Opic is a speaking test, I will do my... ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 760
120032 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 597
120031 What can you say about the fathers taking more part in caring... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 716
120030 I\'ve never tried it, but I want to try it. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 544
120029 Are there any activities that you used to do but don\'t do... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1214
120028 Can you name restaurants in your area that serve food from other... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 0
120027 Family responsibilities, zombi movie. À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 606
120026 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1
120025 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 770
120024 What kind of food will you not eat? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 517
120023 No kids ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 664
120022 Weakness ½É*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 4
120021 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 540
120020 Is there a kind of drama that you will never watch? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 734
120019 Do you think it¡¯s easy or difficult to find time to exercise... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 413
120018 Would you ever consider having your parents live with you when... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 0
120017 Why do you think it\'s difficult for people to talk about... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 1
120016 Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04