¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think getting old is a good thing or a bad thing? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-22 309

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

getting old is beautiful. it means we be wise, be respectful person when we gets older. some other people think the age is privilege. however, it is totally wrong. when we are getting older, we learnt things such as order, world, life, everything that surround us. thus we learn "respect" even whom children, baby. every people have different life, different thoughts. according to the experiences that we had, now we know the life is beautiful and respectful not only my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!  

Yes, we gain more wisdom as we get older. :) 

PS: Make sure to capitalize the first letter of the first word in your sentence. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

getting old is beautiful. 
>> Getting old is beautiful. 

it means we be wise, be respectful person when we gets older. 
>> It means that we become wiser and respectable when we get older. 

some other people think the age is privilege. 
>> Some people think that age is a privilege. 

however, it is totally wrong. 
>> However, it is totally wrong. 

when we are getting older, we learnt things such as order, world, life, everything that surround us. 
>> When we are getting older, we learn more things about the world, life and things that surrounds us. 

thus we learn "respect" even whom children, baby. 
>> Thus, we should learn how to respect everyone, including the ones that are younger than us.

every people have different life, different thoughts. 
>> Every person has different lives and thoughts. 

according to the experiences that we had, now we know the life is beautiful and respectful not only my life.
>> According to the experiences that we had, we will know the beauty of life and be respectful towards other people's lives as well. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120110 Clarification and Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 437
120109 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 0
120108 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 404
120107 Homework. For 06.22.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 1
120106 Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? Why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 1
120105 What do you think is the best country in the world and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 570
120104 How long do you get ready for work? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 450
120103 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 523
120102 What is special about your country¡¯s cuisine? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 297
120101 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 2
120100 What are you going to eat for dinner tonight? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 325
120099 6/22 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 184
120098 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 613
120097 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 519
120096 Today\'s homework. ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 215
120095 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 515
120094 What is your hatest food and why? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 384
120093 Excite older with him ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 606
120092 [Homework] Q. What is the process for making your favorite dish? ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 2
120091 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 337

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04