¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think getting old is a good thing or a bad thing? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-06-21 739

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think getting old is just a natural thing that we need to accept.
If we don't get old, then we need to live forever even tough out love ones are dead.
And if we live forever, then it will be so boring and we will lose the meaning of our lives.
Because of these reasons, I think getting old is just a natural thing that we have to accept.
So I will get old even tough I have a chance to live forever without getting old.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!  

Getting old is the only inevitable thing in this world. It's irreversible. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think getting old is just a natural thing that we need to accept.
>>CORRECT

If we don't get old, then we need to live forever even tough out love ones are dead.
>> If we don't get old, then we need to live forever even though our loved ones are already dead. 

And if we live forever, then it will be so boring and we will lose the meaning of our lives.
>>CORRECT

Because of these reasons, I think getting old is just a natural thing that we have to accept.
>>CORRECT

So I will get old even tough I have a chance to live forever without getting old.
> > CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116144 The best place to camp in my country ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 376
116143 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 0
116142 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 0
116141 What is the scariest dinosaur and why? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 316
116140 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 113
116139 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 3
116138 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 0
116137 What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 199
116136 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 486
116135 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 334
116134 I want to know how to be creative ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 947
116133 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 706
116132 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 477
116131 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 5
116130 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 412
116129 Sports Facilities ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 1185
116128 My favorite food ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 138
116127 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 1
116126 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 145
116125 How do you make yourself happy nowadays? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 676

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04