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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Why do you think former president Moon Jae-in’s nuclear phase-out policy was a failure?

작성자: 문*현
2022-06-20 545

회원님의 영작문

The nuclear phase-out policy enacted by the previous administration was an abrupt decision without sufficient resources. Also, we could not deny Ukraine war has exacerbated the energy security, which made this event look vicious. However, there are some points to criticize. First, the nuclear phase-out plan was like building a nation’s reputation. The government declared a net-zero 2050 during the COP26. It was unrealistic for South Korea because of importing most energy resources. With weak renewable infrastructure, it was challenging to cut fossil fuels to show eye-opening progress. Therefore, the government plans to shut down nuclear power at once, which was regarded as detrimental as fossil fuel back then. Then negative public sentiment on nuclear comes from the Fukushima disaster. Germany is experiencing the same trends, which made them shut down most of the nuclear reactors with only 5% of total energy. This fear has led citizens and the government to agree on closing reactors.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you once again for this Aciel!

The nuclear phase-out policy enacted by the previous administration was an abrupt decision without sufficient resources. 
>>> correct    
Also, we could not deny Ukraine war has exacerbated the energy security, which made this event look vicious. 
>>>  OR: Also, we could not deny Ukraine war has exacerbated the energy security, which made this incident look vicious.  
However, there are some points to criticize. 
>>> correct    
First, the nuclear phase-out plan was like building a nation’s reputation. 
>>>  correct   
The government declared a net-zero 2050 during the COP26. 
>>>  correct   
It was unrealistic for South Korea because of importing most energy resources. 
>>>  correct   
With weak renewable infrastructure, it was challenging to cut fossil fuels to show eye-opening progress. 
>>> With weak renewable infrastructure, it was challenging to cut fossil fuels to show an eye-opening progress.    
Therefore, the government plans to shut down nuclear power at once, which was regarded as detrimental as fossil fuel back then. 
>>>  correct    
Then negative public sentiment on nuclear comes from the Fukushima disaster. 
>>>  correct    
Germany is experiencing the same trends, which made them shut down most of the nuclear reactors with only 5% of total energy. 
>>>  correct    
This fear has led citizens and the government to agree on closing reactors.
>>>  correct    

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