¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

favorite place in my city

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿µ
2022-06-20 1158

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My favorite place in my city is my home! because i am lazy to go out so i almost stay at home. while i am home i can study,play phone,eat some foods etc, i can do many kinds of things. and these days going out is little bit dangerous because of pandemic. so i think my favorite place in my city is my home.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Chloe!  

Yes, there is no place like home. We can be ourselves when we are at our house. We are also be surrounded by that people that we love. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

My favorite place in my city is my home! because i am lazy to go out so i almost stay at home. 
>> My favorite place in my city is my home because I am lazy to go out. I usually just stay at home.. 

while i am home i can study,play phone,eat some foods etc, i can do many kinds of things. 
>> When I am home, I can play, study, use my phone and eat some food. I can do many things here. 

and these days going out is little bit dangerous because of pandemic. so i think my favorite place in my city is my home.
>> And these days, going out is a little bit dangerous because of the pandemic so I think that my favorite place in my city is my home. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116131 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 5
116130 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 408
116129 Sports Facilities ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 1181
116128 My favorite food ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 134
116127 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 1
116126 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 141
116125 How do you make yourself happy nowadays? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 672
116124 What is happiness for you? È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 1
116123 What is more important for you when buying, the price or the... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 6
116122 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 1
116121 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 245
116120 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 644
116119 Day 1 homework ¼Õ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 1
116118 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 793
116117 If something is annoying you, what do you usually do? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 976
116116 What\'s your greatest regret in life? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 292
116115 How can you increase your energy? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 199
116114 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-07 553
116113 What steps should we do in order to help someone who is addicted... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-06 1
116112 How did this pandemic affect your mental health? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-06 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04