¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

favorite place in my city

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿µ
2022-06-20 1001

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My favorite place in my city is my home! because i am lazy to go out so i almost stay at home. while i am home i can study,play phone,eat some foods etc, i can do many kinds of things. and these days going out is little bit dangerous because of pandemic. so i think my favorite place in my city is my home.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Chloe!  

Yes, there is no place like home. We can be ourselves when we are at our house. We are also be surrounded by that people that we love. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

My favorite place in my city is my home! because i am lazy to go out so i almost stay at home. 
>> My favorite place in my city is my home because I am lazy to go out. I usually just stay at home.. 

while i am home i can study,play phone,eat some foods etc, i can do many kinds of things. 
>> When I am home, I can play, study, use my phone and eat some food. I can do many things here. 

and these days going out is little bit dangerous because of pandemic. so i think my favorite place in my city is my home.
>> And these days, going out is a little bit dangerous because of the pandemic so I think that my favorite place in my city is my home. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117787 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 3
117786 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 141
117785 Make sentence ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 201
117784 Weekends ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 2
117783 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 311
117782 Tell me something about your country? / What do you like about... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 428
117781 Do you prefer playing or watching sports? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 488
117780 Some people think that interviews is the key to securing a good... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 5
117779 Which is your favorite beach? Why? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 360
117778 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 290
117777 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 1
117776 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 0
117775 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 0
117774 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 472
117773 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 3
117772 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 0
117771 Which one is better, studying abroad or studying in South Korea?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 1
117770 What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 0
117769 Do you think it is important for men to join the military... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 0
117768 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-28 300

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04