¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What holiday do you think should be removed from your country and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-06-20 441

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, my country doesn't need to remove any holiday.
Because I think it doesn't matter that much, and also I'm adapted in those holidays, so I think it is the best set of holidays.
And also if we remove several holidays that we feel like we don't need, then it can cause a crash between opinions and opinions.
Because of these reasons, I don't think that we need to change some kinds of holidays in my country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!  

Yes, this can cause a conflict. Many people will disagree since this is the only time that they have for themselves. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, my country doesn't need to remove any holiday.
>> CORRECT

Because I think it doesn't matter that much, and also I'm adapted in those holidays, so I think it is the best set of holidays.
>> It is because I think it doesn't matter that much. I have also already adapted to those holidays, so I think they are the best days. 

And also if we remove several holidays that we feel like we don't need, then it can cause a crash between opinions and opinions.
>> Also, if we remove several holidays, it can cause a crash between people's opinions.

Because of these reasons, I don't think that we need to change some kinds of holidays in my country.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120914 homework on July 18th ÀÌ* ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 286
120913 There are people who are anti-vaxxers. What do you think of them? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 693
120912 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120911 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 666
120910 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 568
120909 Entertain ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120908 What kind of exercise would you like to try in the future? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 597
120907 Please help me check grammar. ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 481
120906 homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 455
120905 What are the proven benefits of eating meat? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 672
120904 About allowing children ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120903 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120902 Homework ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120901 What genre of English books do you like to read? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 0
120900 What is the worst restaurant that you have ever eaten at? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 3
120899 Do you think being slim equals beautiful? Why or why not? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 602
120898 Choosing subjects Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120897 What¡¯s the best way to get things done on time? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120896 Homework for 07.19.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120895 Describe a time of the day you like ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04