¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What holiday do you think should be removed from your country and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-06-20 527

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, my country doesn't need to remove any holiday.
Because I think it doesn't matter that much, and also I'm adapted in those holidays, so I think it is the best set of holidays.
And also if we remove several holidays that we feel like we don't need, then it can cause a crash between opinions and opinions.
Because of these reasons, I don't think that we need to change some kinds of holidays in my country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!  

Yes, this can cause a conflict. Many people will disagree since this is the only time that they have for themselves. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, my country doesn't need to remove any holiday.
>> CORRECT

Because I think it doesn't matter that much, and also I'm adapted in those holidays, so I think it is the best set of holidays.
>> It is because I think it doesn't matter that much. I have also already adapted to those holidays, so I think they are the best days. 

And also if we remove several holidays that we feel like we don't need, then it can cause a crash between opinions and opinions.
>> Also, if we remove several holidays, it can cause a crash between people's opinions.

Because of these reasons, I don't think that we need to change some kinds of holidays in my country.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121886 08.25.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2
121885 What kind of lifestyle do you want to have? Share your thoughts... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1656
121884 How important is time in your culture? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1199
121883 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2
121882 What is the best memory you have of your family doing something... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1012
121881 8/25 homework ¾È*Çå ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1103
121880 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1079
121879 What can you do to make this world a better place? ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2
121878 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1
121877 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1567
121876 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 3
121875 Be annoyed ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2
121874 housing ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 848
121873 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 0
121872 Have you ever been the victim of a crime? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 4
121871 Caleb\'s homework for 23 Aug 2022 ±Ç*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2012
121870 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1
121869 Which smartphone app is your favorite? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1
121868 08.23.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1
121867 Is getting angry an effective way of dealing with problems? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 709

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04