¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What holiday do you think should be removed from your country and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-06-20 535

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, my country doesn't need to remove any holiday.
Because I think it doesn't matter that much, and also I'm adapted in those holidays, so I think it is the best set of holidays.
And also if we remove several holidays that we feel like we don't need, then it can cause a crash between opinions and opinions.
Because of these reasons, I don't think that we need to change some kinds of holidays in my country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!  

Yes, this can cause a conflict. Many people will disagree since this is the only time that they have for themselves. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, my country doesn't need to remove any holiday.
>> CORRECT

Because I think it doesn't matter that much, and also I'm adapted in those holidays, so I think it is the best set of holidays.
>> It is because I think it doesn't matter that much. I have also already adapted to those holidays, so I think they are the best days. 

And also if we remove several holidays that we feel like we don't need, then it can cause a crash between opinions and opinions.
>> Also, if we remove several holidays, it can cause a crash between people's opinions.

Because of these reasons, I don't think that we need to change some kinds of holidays in my country.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121965 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121964 The old people ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121963 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 985
121962 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1
121961 Have you ever suffered from eating disorders? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121960 What\'s the most miserable you\'ve been? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1012
121959 Taxis ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 935
121958 8/29 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 3108
121957 What are the harmful and beneficial effects of advertising? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1379
121956 If you\'re a movie actor, would you rather be the hero that... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1148
121955 08.26.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1373
121954 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 946
121953 Do you think that a man and a woman can have a friendship... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 2
121952 If you were to call for a company meeting, how would you do it? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1169
121951 What do you need to think about before renting a place to live? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1372
121950 8/26 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1428
121949 How do you describe your neighborhood? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1864
121948 What I do when I have some annoying thing. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1143
121947 Where I will live when I am old. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1134
121946 My presents. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 875

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04