¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you still believe in traditional medicines? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-20 592

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

well we already talked about this. yeah I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. I believe in science. so I much prefer to go to hospital rather than oriental medicine.
in the hospital there are acceptable methods to find out an illness and some problems. such as using very developed machines. in the oriental treatment they just look on the surface and rely on patient's description. how can I give my body to them? they are just using stacked data by the people rather than using a machines, technology, science.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!  

I totally agree with you. The generation now is more advanced so we should rely on it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

well we already talked about this. 
>> Well, we've already talked about this. 

yeah I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. 
>> I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. 

I believe in science. so I much prefer to go to hospital rather than oriental medicine.
>>I believe in science  so I prefer to go to a hospital than an oriental doctor. 

in the hospital there are acceptable methods to find out an illness and some problems. 
>> In a hospital, there are acceptable methods to find diagnose illnesses such as using developed machines. 

such as using very developed machines.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

 in the oriental treatment they just look on the surface and rely on patient's description. 
>> When you use oriental treatments, they just look on the surface and rely on the patient's description of the symptoms

how can I give my body to them? 
>> How can I trust my body to them. 

they are just using stacked data by the people rather than using a machines, technology, science.
>> T
hey are just using stacked data by our ancestors instead of using machines, technology and Science. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123110 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 1867
123109 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 1291
123108 What is the first thing that you always do when you visit a new... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 1
123107 How have your political views changed during your life? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 1938
123106 How old are your grandparents? How often do you see your... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 1551
123105 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 1
123104 What would you do if you have a misunderstanding with a... À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 3241
123103 What is your bag made of? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 1
123102 Do the attitude of people determine the beauty of a place? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-20 2
123101 Have you planned for your retirement? At what age should someone... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2088
123100 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 3228
123099 How do you celebrate your birthday? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2168
123098 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2254
123097 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2168
123096 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1964
123095 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2117
123094 Why do you study English? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2527
123093 Are you generally a positive person or a negative person? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2037
123092 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 3
123091 Homwork ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1666

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04