¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you still believe in traditional medicines? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-20 566

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

well we already talked about this. yeah I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. I believe in science. so I much prefer to go to hospital rather than oriental medicine.
in the hospital there are acceptable methods to find out an illness and some problems. such as using very developed machines. in the oriental treatment they just look on the surface and rely on patient's description. how can I give my body to them? they are just using stacked data by the people rather than using a machines, technology, science.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!  

I totally agree with you. The generation now is more advanced so we should rely on it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

well we already talked about this. 
>> Well, we've already talked about this. 

yeah I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. 
>> I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. 

I believe in science. so I much prefer to go to hospital rather than oriental medicine.
>>I believe in science  so I prefer to go to a hospital than an oriental doctor. 

in the hospital there are acceptable methods to find out an illness and some problems. 
>> In a hospital, there are acceptable methods to find diagnose illnesses such as using developed machines. 

such as using very developed machines.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

 in the oriental treatment they just look on the surface and rely on patient's description. 
>> When you use oriental treatments, they just look on the surface and rely on the patient's description of the symptoms

how can I give my body to them? 
>> How can I trust my body to them. 

they are just using stacked data by the people rather than using a machines, technology, science.
>> T
hey are just using stacked data by our ancestors instead of using machines, technology and Science. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117624 Writing Task(Mar 22th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 358
117623 Writing Task(Mar 21th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 319
117622 Answer to \"What food do you not like to eat?\" ¹Ý*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 0
117621 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 508
117620 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 487
117619 Homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 183
117618 Why do many people from different parts of the world want to... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 681
117617 What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 188
117616 1. How is society treating men in sports that are considered... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 5
117615 What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1036
117614 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 480
117613 What is the role of the government in providing more job... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 5
117612 What is your goal in 5 years? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 4
117611 3/22 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1049
117610 Why do you enjoy learning English? ÃÖ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 942
117609 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1
117608 Studying abraod ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 690
117607 homework~~!! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 610
117606 Korea Presidential Election day. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 461
117605 Animals on our planet. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 686

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04