¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you still believe in traditional medicines? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-20 414

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

well we already talked about this. yeah I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. I believe in science. so I much prefer to go to hospital rather than oriental medicine.
in the hospital there are acceptable methods to find out an illness and some problems. such as using very developed machines. in the oriental treatment they just look on the surface and rely on patient's description. how can I give my body to them? they are just using stacked data by the people rather than using a machines, technology, science.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!  

I totally agree with you. The generation now is more advanced so we should rely on it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

well we already talked about this. 
>> Well, we've already talked about this. 

yeah I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. 
>> I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. 

I believe in science. so I much prefer to go to hospital rather than oriental medicine.
>>I believe in science  so I prefer to go to a hospital than an oriental doctor. 

in the hospital there are acceptable methods to find out an illness and some problems. 
>> In a hospital, there are acceptable methods to find diagnose illnesses such as using developed machines. 

such as using very developed machines.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

 in the oriental treatment they just look on the surface and rely on patient's description. 
>> When you use oriental treatments, they just look on the surface and rely on the patient's description of the symptoms

how can I give my body to them? 
>> How can I trust my body to them. 

they are just using stacked data by the people rather than using a machines, technology, science.
>> T
hey are just using stacked data by our ancestors instead of using machines, technology and Science. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119075 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 68
119074 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 51
119073 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 0
119072 1st homework ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 65
119071 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 1
119070 What is the most dangerous thing you¡¯ve done? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 0
119069 No visiting ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 3
119068 What is your opinion about ¡°edu-sitters¡±? Do you think they... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 96
119067 What do you want to be improved in your country\'s health care... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 106
119066 The most expensive thing. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 75
119065 How was your childhood in your time? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 83
119064 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 1
119063 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 52
119062 Do you think people should give money to homeless people? Why or... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 1
119061 5.16 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 56
119060 Should Japan say \'SORRY\' to South Korea? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 2
119059 Do you think North Korea and South Korea will unite soon? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 99
119058 Disadvantages of Technology ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 57
119057 Machines that makes our lives easier ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 64
119056 5/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 57

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04