¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you still believe in traditional medicines? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-20 425

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

well we already talked about this. yeah I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. I believe in science. so I much prefer to go to hospital rather than oriental medicine.
in the hospital there are acceptable methods to find out an illness and some problems. such as using very developed machines. in the oriental treatment they just look on the surface and rely on patient's description. how can I give my body to them? they are just using stacked data by the people rather than using a machines, technology, science.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!  

I totally agree with you. The generation now is more advanced so we should rely on it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

well we already talked about this. 
>> Well, we've already talked about this. 

yeah I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. 
>> I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. 

I believe in science. so I much prefer to go to hospital rather than oriental medicine.
>>I believe in science  so I prefer to go to a hospital than an oriental doctor. 

in the hospital there are acceptable methods to find out an illness and some problems. 
>> In a hospital, there are acceptable methods to find diagnose illnesses such as using developed machines. 

such as using very developed machines.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

 in the oriental treatment they just look on the surface and rely on patient's description. 
>> When you use oriental treatments, they just look on the surface and rely on the patient's description of the symptoms

how can I give my body to them? 
>> How can I trust my body to them. 

they are just using stacked data by the people rather than using a machines, technology, science.
>> T
hey are just using stacked data by our ancestors instead of using machines, technology and Science. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121208 Do you think you are prepared for any disaster? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 4
121207 07.29.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 1
121206 Should parents try to teach their children before they go to... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-31 440
121205 Rome ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-30 1
121204 What is the worst thing that could happen if you take some risk?... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-30 1
121203 How do you think a person can become a good listener? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-30 502
121202 What is the best atmosphere, background or mood when reading a... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-30 582
121201 What are you looking forward to in your future English classes? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-30 507
121200 About the drunken people ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 552
121199 11/4 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 534
121198 Can you tell me about a time when you were happy? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 534
121197 Is possession of firearms among civilians legal? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 2
121196 What do you do when you feel pressured? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 594
121195 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 1027
121194 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 461
121193 Dairy😶 Áö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 724
121192 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 861
121191 What do you think is the most important thing to have a good... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 296
121190 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 566
121189 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-29 7

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04