¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you still believe in traditional medicines? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-20 470

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

well we already talked about this. yeah I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. I believe in science. so I much prefer to go to hospital rather than oriental medicine.
in the hospital there are acceptable methods to find out an illness and some problems. such as using very developed machines. in the oriental treatment they just look on the surface and rely on patient's description. how can I give my body to them? they are just using stacked data by the people rather than using a machines, technology, science.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!  

I totally agree with you. The generation now is more advanced so we should rely on it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

well we already talked about this. 
>> Well, we've already talked about this. 

yeah I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. 
>> I don't believe in traditional medicine and treatment. 

I believe in science. so I much prefer to go to hospital rather than oriental medicine.
>>I believe in science  so I prefer to go to a hospital than an oriental doctor. 

in the hospital there are acceptable methods to find out an illness and some problems. 
>> In a hospital, there are acceptable methods to find diagnose illnesses such as using developed machines. 

such as using very developed machines.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

 in the oriental treatment they just look on the surface and rely on patient's description. 
>> When you use oriental treatments, they just look on the surface and rely on the patient's description of the symptoms

how can I give my body to them? 
>> How can I trust my body to them. 

they are just using stacked data by the people rather than using a machines, technology, science.
>> T
hey are just using stacked data by our ancestors instead of using machines, technology and Science. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121706 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 777
121705 Health Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 2
121704 What are the toughest jobs in the world? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1236
121703 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 952
121702 What is good about renting something? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1195
121701 8/18 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1045
121700 What is the motto of your life and why is that your motto? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1026
121699 Exercise Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 2
121698 Use the following words in your own sentence: 1. dreamt 2. house... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 940
121697 Humor Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 2
121696 08.18.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 2
121695 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 678
121694 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1160
121693 What are some of the most popular books in the world? Why do so... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 963
121692 How useful are computers to you? What is the best thing about a... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1107
121691 If you had the power to stop a natural disaster that has... ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 893
121690 Can you remember the best feedback given to you? What did you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1012
121689 What is your opinion about the all-day schooling policy? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 854
121688 What were your reasons for missing an appointment? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1141
121687 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1025

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04