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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Saipan

작성자: 유*영
2022-06-18 332

회원님의 영작문

What was the most interesting place you have traveled?
Before I get a job, I traveled the Saipan with my husband. I couldn't forget the experience. First day, we borrowed the rent car, Camaro which is open car. We runed the load of the beach. I wanted to see the sea more close. So, I asked my husband "How about we enters the sand." After seeing the sea, We wanted to out the sand of the beach. Unfortunately, my car was stuck in the sand. while we was trying to pull out the car, the host of the sand came. At the moment, my husband didn't know that he is the host of the sand. My husband acted curt. The host charged the fee. Because We was in the private land. The fee was quite expensive. I begged from my bottle of heart. Thankfully, the host forgave me. I think the host want to let me know the respect about the private land. I have got a lot of lessons.

-I purchased the 5 times laser ticket.
-It was a one day class. It took a 3 hours.
-I'm one of the got a money back.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Young!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one. 
See you later!

~T. Roanne ^_^ 
======================================================
Before I get a job, I traveled the Saipan with my husband. 
>> Before I get a job, I traveled to Saipan with my husband. 
I couldn't forget the experience. 
>> Correct!
First day, we borrowed the rent car, Camaro which is open car. 
>> On the first day, we borrowed a rental car, Camaro, which is an open car. 
We runed the load of the beach. 
>> We drove the road along the beach. 
I wanted to see the sea more close. 
>> I wanted to see the sea closely.
So, I asked my husband "How about we enters the sand." 
>> So, I asked my husband "How about we go into the sand?." 
After seeing the sea, We wanted to out the sand of the beach. 
>> After seeing the sea, We wanted to be out of the sand.
Unfortunately, my car was stuck in the sand. while we was trying to pull out the car, the host of the sand came. 
>> Unfortunately, my car was stuck in the sand while we were trying to pull out the car, the owner of the beach came towards us. 
At the moment, my husband didn't know that he is the host of the sand. 
>> At that moment, my husband didn't know that he is the owner of the beach.
My husband acted curt. 
>> Correct!
The host charged the fee. Because We was in the private land. 
>> The host charged us with some fee because we were in the private land.
The fee was quite expensive. 
>> Correct!
I begged from my bottle of heart. 
>>I begged from the bottom of my heart. 
Thankfully, the host forgave me. 
>> Correct!
I think the host want to let me know the respect about the private land. 
>> I think the host wants to let me know to respect  the private land. 
I have got a lot of lessons.
>> Correct!

-I purchased the 5 times laser ticket.
>> Correct!
-It was a one day class. It took a 3 hours.
-It was a one day class. It took about 3 hours.
-I'm one of the got a money back.
>> -I'm one of those who got the money back.
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