¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your opinion, how long should kids play video games on weekends?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ºó
2022-06-18 602

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Video games should be moderately played.
Because if your eyes get bad and you get addicted, it becomes dangerous.
It is good for your health to spend time with your family on weekends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Stella!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Video games should be moderately played.

>> CORRECT!
Because if your eyes get bad and you get addicted, it becomes dangerous.

>> Because if your eyes get damaged and you get addicted, it becomes dangerous.
It is good for your health to spend time with your family on weekends.

>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125849 vocabulary_dahe_homework À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 2706
125848 Sleeping too much can make you feel¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1243
125847 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 0
125846 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1103
125845 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 2
125844 How many months are there in a year? Can you name them? ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1078
125843 Lesson 10: Homework ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 787
125842 How do people\'s goals change from country to country? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1754
125841 Thank you teacher! ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1055
125840 Changing name ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1
125839 If you could change one law it your country, what would it be... Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1531
125838 Do you think it is possible for a cold hearted person to change Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1829
125837 What are you strengths and weaknesses? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 909
125836 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1
125835 What did you do before and don¡¯t now? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 834
125834 Do you think that childcare centers will give more benefits than... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 3
125833 My ideal job, and company. ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1085
125832 Talk about learning skills ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 2
125831 2/21 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1
125830 Fresh fruit ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1262

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04