¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

6.17

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-06-17 299

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What holiday do you think should be removed from your country and why?
>I don't see any reason of any holiday here that has to be removed. Instead, I need more new holidays to be made, designated as National Holidays. The weekends and the holidays mean a lot to me. I quit working in a private company and decided to study to get a job as civil servant. Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after the official work hours on weekdays and even on weekends. I worked like a machine everyday. Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, got back to my house at around 3 am and came back to the office by 8 am. If I hadn't been a machine, what other things could have been called a machine? I couldn't see any bright future with my future family that I had imagined to have. And now? I'm content with my job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi U Seung!  

Yes, we need more holidays. People are like robots nowadays. We don't have any social life anymore. We need to have more days to lay off. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't see any reason of any holiday here that has to be removed. 
>>I don't see any reason why any holiday should be removed here in our country. 

Instead, I need more new holidays to be made, designated as National Holidays. 
>> Instead, we need more new national holidays. 

The weekends and the holidays mean a lot to me. 
>> The weekends and holidays mean a lot to me. 

I quit working in a private company and decided to study to get a job as civil servant. 
>> CORRECT

Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after the official work hours on weekdays and even on weekends. 
>> Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after working hours on both weekdays and weekends. 

I worked like a machine everyday. 
>> CORRECT

Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, got back to my house at around 3 am and came back to the office by 8 am. 
>> Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, go back to my house at around 3 am and come back to the office by 8 am. 

If I hadn't been a machine, what other things could have been called a machine? 
>> If I was not like a machine, then what is?

I couldn't see any bright future with my future family that I had imagined to have. 
>> I couldn't see any bright future with family that I imagined to have.

And now? I'm content with my job.
>> Now, I am contented with my job. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120226 6/27 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 290
120225 What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small... ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 626
120224 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 0
120223 What was your dream job when you were young? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 453
120222 What¡¯s the best way to stop being bored? Answer in 5 sentences... ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 497
120221 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 326
120220 Some people do not like to talk about politics. How about you,... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 997
120219 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 661
120218 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 461
120217 About friends ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 3
120216 What do you think is the best age to be? Explain your opinion. ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 4
120215 How do you think the discovery of fire changed the life of... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 553
120214 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 1
120213 The reason why there are generally few women in top positions. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 505
120212 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 625
120211 Homework {06/27} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 168
120210 last Sat in couples\' gathering Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 517
120209 Homework For 06.27.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 2
120208 Identify ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 3
120207 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 408

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04