¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

6.17

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-06-17 534

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What holiday do you think should be removed from your country and why?
>I don't see any reason of any holiday here that has to be removed. Instead, I need more new holidays to be made, designated as National Holidays. The weekends and the holidays mean a lot to me. I quit working in a private company and decided to study to get a job as civil servant. Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after the official work hours on weekdays and even on weekends. I worked like a machine everyday. Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, got back to my house at around 3 am and came back to the office by 8 am. If I hadn't been a machine, what other things could have been called a machine? I couldn't see any bright future with my future family that I had imagined to have. And now? I'm content with my job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi U Seung!  

Yes, we need more holidays. People are like robots nowadays. We don't have any social life anymore. We need to have more days to lay off. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't see any reason of any holiday here that has to be removed. 
>>I don't see any reason why any holiday should be removed here in our country. 

Instead, I need more new holidays to be made, designated as National Holidays. 
>> Instead, we need more new national holidays. 

The weekends and the holidays mean a lot to me. 
>> The weekends and holidays mean a lot to me. 

I quit working in a private company and decided to study to get a job as civil servant. 
>> CORRECT

Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after the official work hours on weekdays and even on weekends. 
>> Even though I earned a lot of money while working in the company, I had no free time after working hours on both weekdays and weekends. 

I worked like a machine everyday. 
>> CORRECT

Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, got back to my house at around 3 am and came back to the office by 8 am. 
>> Sometimes I had to work until 2 am, go back to my house at around 3 am and come back to the office by 8 am. 

If I hadn't been a machine, what other things could have been called a machine? 
>> If I was not like a machine, then what is?

I couldn't see any bright future with my future family that I had imagined to have. 
>> I couldn't see any bright future with family that I imagined to have.

And now? I'm content with my job.
>> Now, I am contented with my job. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122875 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-08 2820
122874 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-08 2383
122873 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-08 2499
122872 weekend ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2535
122871 When I have the blues¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2138
122870 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2
122869 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 0
122868 10/7 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2960
122867 What are your short-term and long-term goals? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2170
122866 What are you most proud about your country that you can never... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2227
122865 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1904
122864 If you have nothing to do, do you enjoy yourself or do you get... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1818
122863 My short-term and long-term goals are.. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2192
122862 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1
122861 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2075
122860 Control ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1
122859 Are you a creative person? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1929
122858 Hi Jhozel ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 131
122857 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2
122856 \"When\" practice ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04