¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I still believe traditional medicine

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-06-17 1050

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I still believe traditional medicine.
Because when I was very young, my skin suffered from atopy.
But I used traditional lotion, it's get better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann!  

That's good! What were the ingredients in that?

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I still believe traditional medicine.
>> I still believe in traditional medicine.

Because when I was very young, my skin suffered from atopy.
>> It is because when I was very young, my skin suffered from "Atopy".

But I used traditional lotion, it's get better.
>> I used traditional lotion and then it got better. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123091 Homwork ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1668
123090 Fried rice and chili shrimp. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2143
123089 What are the things you collect? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 3314
123088 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2942
123087 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 3114
123086 Make sentences with given words ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2104
123085 How would you help someone to get over their fear? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2265
123084 disappointed. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1
123083 What do you think about foreign language learning as a hobby?... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 3635
123082 Have you ever worked for a company that has implemented any... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 3492
123081 Hi Jhozel ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2816
123080 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1
123079 Do you prefer your own country\'s food or other kinds of food? ½Å*°ü ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 4842
123078 timid ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2375
123077 What is a bottle made of? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 1
123076 10/18 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2871
123075 What makes a happy marriage? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-19 2402
123074 What is a very special place you have seen before and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 0
123073 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 2426
123072 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-18 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04