¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I still believe traditional medicine

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-06-17 1055

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I still believe traditional medicine.
Because when I was very young, my skin suffered from atopy.
But I used traditional lotion, it's get better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann!  

That's good! What were the ingredients in that?

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I still believe traditional medicine.
>> I still believe in traditional medicine.

Because when I was very young, my skin suffered from atopy.
>> It is because when I was very young, my skin suffered from "Atopy".

But I used traditional lotion, it's get better.
>> I used traditional lotion and then it got better. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117463 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 833
117462 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117461 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 499
117460 ESSAY: Parents should be held responsible for their children\'s... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 373
117459 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 617
117458 ESSAY: Morals or money? Which one is necessary to survive?... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 514
117457 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117456 If you were a celebrity, what kind of movie would you like to... ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 440
117455 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 3
117454 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 786
117453 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 1
117452 1. Do you think that a heart transplant from a pig is a medical... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 3
117451 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 535
117450 If you can learn another language, what would it be and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117449 Why Fintech? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 788
117448 High Hopes ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 608
117447 Biggest goal in my life À±*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 290
117446 What are your weaknesses? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 624
117445 If you can change something in the past, what would it be? Share... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 724
117444 What do you have in your bucket list? Write 5 examples with... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 616

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04