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what I like most about my hometown

작성자: 지*나
2022-06-15 159

회원님의 영작문

Before start a writing, there is something to I wanna tell you. actually, Jinju is not my hometown haha. But it's too long to say "where my family is live in". So, for simple, I just introduce this city as hometown. I say the same way to talk with Korean.
Anyway, For my thinking, You wanna know about the JinJu city.
So, I'm going to advantage of Jinju. This city has a river called "Namgamg". And every October, the festival is held at here and nearby area. The festival is "남강 유등 축제". 유등 is a lamp covered with clothes. It's figure like people, flower, structure and so on. Before Covid, a lot of people come to see and enjoy the festival. The festival open late at night and my home is nearby the place where the festival held , so my family go to the festival almost every year. Actually, because I have gone to this festival so so many time, it's not wonderful about 유등. But I really love the landscape of huge crowd.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Han-na!
Thank you for doing your homework. You did great in describing your hometown and what you like most about it! I agree that seeing a festival for the first time makes you think it's wonderful, but seeing it every year makes it dull. 
-T. Caitlyn
Before start a writing, there is something to I wanna tell you. 
>> Before writing, there is something I want to tell you.
actually, Jinju is not my hometown haha. 
>> Actually, Jinju is not my hometown.
But it's too long to say "where my family is live in". 
>> It is where my family lives in.
So, for simple, I just introduce this city as hometown. 
>> To keep it simple, I'll just introduce this city as my hometown.
I say the same way to talk with Korean.
>> That is what I usually say.
Anyway, For my thinking, You wanna know about the JinJu city.
>> Anyway, I want to tell you my thoughts about JinJu City.
So, I'm going to advantage of Jinju. 
>> These are what I like most about JinJu.
This city has a river called "Namgamg". 
>> CORRECT
And every October, the festival is held at here and nearby area. 
>> Every October, a festival is held here and in the nearby areas.
The festival is "남강 유등 축제". 
>> The festival is called "Jinju Namgang Yudeung Festival". 
유등 is a lamp covered with clothes. 
>> Lantern is a lamp covered with cloth.
It's figure like people, flower, structure and so on. 
>> It is shaped like people, flowers, structures and so on.
Before Covid, a lot of people come to see and enjoy the festival. 
>> Before the pandemic, a lot of people would visit and enjoy the festival.
The festival open late at night 
>> The festival starts late at night. 
and my home is nearby the place where the festival held , so my family go to the festival almost every year. 
>> My house is near the location where the festival is held, so my family goes to the festival almost every year.
Actually, because I have gone to this festival so so many time, it's not wonderful about 유등. But I really love the landscape of huge crowd.
>> Actually, since I have seen the festival many times, I don't find the lanterns wonderful like before but I still love the huge crowd and the landscape.
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