¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it important to have hobbies? Why/why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*±â
2022-06-14 687

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that I should to have hobbies, because the hobby can give me some energy and health of both body and spirit.
Also, many people can get stress to work and the stress will give them some bad efects. The hobby can help to release stress.
So, I think that the hobby is necessary to ours.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Simon. Thank you for sending me your homework. I agree with you that a hobby is important to people. We should continue doing what we love. ~T. Lyn
I think that I should to have hobbies, because the hobby can give me some energy and health of both body and spirit.
>>I think that I should have hobbies because doing activities can give me some energy and health for both my body and spirit.
Also, many people can get stress to work and the stress will give them some bad efects. 
>>Also, many people are stressed because of working and that stress will give them some bad effects.
The hobby can help to release stress.
>>Hobby helps and allows us to release stress.
So, I think that hobby is necessary to ours.
>>Therefore, I think that hobby is necessary for us.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117197 I would be appreciated if you review the below sentence. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 632
117196 we should prepare something if possible. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 765
117195 I would be appreciated if you review the below sentence. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 740
117194 What is your all-time favorite movie and what can you learn from... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 230
117193 2022.3.9 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 518
117192 If you could only read one more book for your entire life, what... ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 607
117191 . À±*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 4
117190 Who do you think is the best candidate for president during this... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 307
117189 homework ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 0
117188 homework ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 0
117187 If you can have your own business, what would it be and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 0
117186 What is the best thing about having a family? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 2
117185 I want to be a.. ÀÌ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 444
117184 3/9 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 326
117183 what kinds of social activities do you do in church? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 235
117182 Do you think tourism will harm the earth? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 1
117181 Who do you think is the best candidate for president during this... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 371
117180 The worst shopping ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 3
117179 How do you feel if someone didn\'t give back what you lent her? ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 255
117178 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 169

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04