¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it important to have hobbies? Why/why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*±â
2022-06-14 474

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that I should to have hobbies, because the hobby can give me some energy and health of both body and spirit.
Also, many people can get stress to work and the stress will give them some bad efects. The hobby can help to release stress.
So, I think that the hobby is necessary to ours.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Simon. Thank you for sending me your homework. I agree with you that a hobby is important to people. We should continue doing what we love. ~T. Lyn
I think that I should to have hobbies, because the hobby can give me some energy and health of both body and spirit.
>>I think that I should have hobbies because doing activities can give me some energy and health for both my body and spirit.
Also, many people can get stress to work and the stress will give them some bad efects. 
>>Also, many people are stressed because of working and that stress will give them some bad effects.
The hobby can help to release stress.
>>Hobby helps and allows us to release stress.
So, I think that hobby is necessary to ours.
>>Therefore, I think that hobby is necessary for us.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120791 Moving out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 1
120790 This is my academy writing homework. Could you please check only... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 531
120789 Studying in cafe. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 836
120788 Friday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 842
120787 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 1
120786 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 3
120785 previous class review. (face to face interview) À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 2
120784 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 0
120783 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 490
120782 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 786
120781 7.15 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 383
120780 What are the advantages and disadvantages of buying a used car? ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 2
120779 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 396
120778 Why don¡¯t parents do enough to stop their children from... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 489
120777 Have you ever introduced yourself to a stranger in public? Why?... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 2
120776 Restaurant cater Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 1
120775 What food would you always like to buy for your family? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 783
120774 What advice would you give to someone with mental health issues? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 2527
120773 Do you believe you can be better at speaking English? How? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 1707
120772 Is cloning good or bad? Why or why not? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04