¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think would South Korea be like if it still has kings and queens? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-06-13 347

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that the South Korea would be destroyed by ourselves.
In the past, South Korea was peaceful and still had kings and queens.
But over the time, a lot of people were being poor because of the two wars.
And when the South Korea was being poor and poor, we were colonized by Japan.
But if there were still kings and queens in here, South Korea might destroyed itself.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!  

Good thing that everything worked out for the best there in South Korea. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think that the South Korea would be destroyed by ourselves.
>> I think that South Korea would've been destroyed by ourselves. 

In the past, South Korea was peaceful and still had kings and queens.
>> CORRECT

But over the time, a lot of people were being poor because of the two wars.
>> But over the time, a lot of people became poor because of the two wars.

And when the South Korea was being poor and poor, we were colonized by Japan.
>> And when it continued to happened as we were colonized by Japan. 

But if there were still kings and queens in here, South Korea might destroyed itself.
>> But if there were still kings and queens in here, South Korea would've been destroyed by it's own people. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118454 2022.4.22 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 91
118453 4/22 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 115
118452 What is the best part of weekend vacation? What\'s the worst? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 160
118451 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 3
118450 How is the Internet affecting our intelligence? Describe your... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 108
118449 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 97
118448 part 2 ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 101
118447 Why do we need weekends? What are your plans for this weekend? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 144
118446 What restaurant in your country do you recommend a foreigner to... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 109
118445 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 103
118444 What do you think about the government\'s plan to allow people... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 2
118443 What benefits do you think the compulsory military will give to... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 113
118442 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 98
118441 What video game do you think is best and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 149
118440 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 136
118439 Money that should be used in the short term was saved in the... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 142
118438 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 0
118437 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 106
118436 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 0
118435 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 91

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04