¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think would South Korea be like if it still has kings and queens? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-06-13 222

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that the South Korea would be destroyed by ourselves.
In the past, South Korea was peaceful and still had kings and queens.
But over the time, a lot of people were being poor because of the two wars.
And when the South Korea was being poor and poor, we were colonized by Japan.
But if there were still kings and queens in here, South Korea might destroyed itself.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!  

Good thing that everything worked out for the best there in South Korea. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think that the South Korea would be destroyed by ourselves.
>> I think that South Korea would've been destroyed by ourselves. 

In the past, South Korea was peaceful and still had kings and queens.
>> CORRECT

But over the time, a lot of people were being poor because of the two wars.
>> But over the time, a lot of people became poor because of the two wars.

And when the South Korea was being poor and poor, we were colonized by Japan.
>> And when it continued to happened as we were colonized by Japan. 

But if there were still kings and queens in here, South Korea might destroyed itself.
>> But if there were still kings and queens in here, South Korea would've been destroyed by it's own people. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120095 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 537
120094 What is your hatest food and why? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 404
120093 Excite older with him ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 631
120092 [Homework] Q. What is the process for making your favorite dish? ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 2
120091 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 359
120090 About expensive hobby ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 2
120089 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 0
120088 Do you have any special routines you follow before you take a... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 787
120087 What special dish can you cook or prepare? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 6
120086 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 336
120085 What is your favorite summer vacation? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 483
120084 Homwork ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 354
120083 Can you name restaurants in your area that serve food from other... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 1
120082 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 0
120081 About the sleep..🧐 ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 359
120080 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 5
120079 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 0
120078 What is your hatest food and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 225
120077 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 0
120076 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 266

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04