¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think would South Korea be like if it still has kings and queens? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-06-13 407

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that the South Korea would be destroyed by ourselves.
In the past, South Korea was peaceful and still had kings and queens.
But over the time, a lot of people were being poor because of the two wars.
And when the South Korea was being poor and poor, we were colonized by Japan.
But if there were still kings and queens in here, South Korea might destroyed itself.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!  

Good thing that everything worked out for the best there in South Korea. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think that the South Korea would be destroyed by ourselves.
>> I think that South Korea would've been destroyed by ourselves. 

In the past, South Korea was peaceful and still had kings and queens.
>> CORRECT

But over the time, a lot of people were being poor because of the two wars.
>> But over the time, a lot of people became poor because of the two wars.

And when the South Korea was being poor and poor, we were colonized by Japan.
>> And when it continued to happened as we were colonized by Japan. 

But if there were still kings and queens in here, South Korea might destroyed itself.
>> But if there were still kings and queens in here, South Korea would've been destroyed by it's own people. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122281 Weekends Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-12 1
122280 09.08.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-12 1
122279 Describe one very close friend you have ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-12 3
122278 Which do you think is more dangerous, a flood or a drought? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-12 1
122277 What news do you need every day? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-12 1676
122276 Post a picture of yourself at the most memorable festival you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-10 1556
122275 Why would you like to go to Psy\'s concert? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-09 2090
122274 Dream home ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1329
122273 9/8 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2032
122272 English performance test ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2326
122271 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2918
122270 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2
122269 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2546
122268 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1966
122267 The fake news is the problem. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1597
122266 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 0
122265 What kinds of diet do you know? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 5
122264 Which good habit do you think would be the most difficult to... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2235
122263 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1279
122262 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1569

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04