¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think would South Korea be like if it still has kings and queens? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-06-13 444

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that the South Korea would be destroyed by ourselves.
In the past, South Korea was peaceful and still had kings and queens.
But over the time, a lot of people were being poor because of the two wars.
And when the South Korea was being poor and poor, we were colonized by Japan.
But if there were still kings and queens in here, South Korea might destroyed itself.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!  

Good thing that everything worked out for the best there in South Korea. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think that the South Korea would be destroyed by ourselves.
>> I think that South Korea would've been destroyed by ourselves. 

In the past, South Korea was peaceful and still had kings and queens.
>> CORRECT

But over the time, a lot of people were being poor because of the two wars.
>> But over the time, a lot of people became poor because of the two wars.

And when the South Korea was being poor and poor, we were colonized by Japan.
>> And when it continued to happened as we were colonized by Japan. 

But if there were still kings and queens in here, South Korea might destroyed itself.
>> But if there were still kings and queens in here, South Korea would've been destroyed by it's own people. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122706 HW! ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-30 2360
122705 Why do people celebrate their birthdays? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-09-30 2050
122704 Do you shop for new clothes when the season changes? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-30 1
122703 Play ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2219
122702 9/29 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2239
122701 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1942
122700 HW ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1889
122699 09.29.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 3
122698 What is the most exciting part of a concert? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2484
122697 What do you think is the most popular sport in the world? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1956
122696 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2225
122695 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2
122694 What does ¡°beauty lies in the eye of the beholder¡± mean? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2818
122693 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1
122692 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2596
122691 How has your health changed when you were younger compared to... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1752
122690 Do you think colors affect your mood? How? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2261
122689 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1832
122688 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1576
122687 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04