¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the capsized canoe

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-10 514

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My canoe just capsized by the current caused a bunch of dead trees. Current swallowed my canoe into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage, and I was hung on the dead trees. I was stuck in the dead trees. Those trees saved my life, but the problem is I just left the bank 30mins ago, and the journey remains two nights and three more days. Because of the current, my friends couldn't reach me. They were slightly getting far away from me. At that moment, that area had no mobile phone signal. And we've got no equipment to contact such as a satellite phone or walkie-talkie. It seemed I should be there until my friends reached the finish line. For two nights and three days. That river was famous for saltwater crocs, freshwater crocs and many wild animals. The weather was scorching, and half of my body sunk in the water, making me colder. It is threatening my life to be dead. My brain worked with a superpower. I imagined all the possibilities that I could make to save myself.....

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!
Thank you for you composition.
Take note of the suggestions below.
If you have questions, please clarify with your teacher.
You can also ask me next time we get the chance to talk.
Happy weekend!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
My canoe just capsized by the current caused a bunch of dead trees. 
>> My canoe just capsized because of the current caused by a bunch of dead trees. 
Current swallowed my canoe into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage, and I was hung on the dead trees. 
>> The current swept my canoe away into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage while I kept hanging on to dead trees. 
I was stuck in the dead trees. 
>> I was stuck with the dead trees. 
Those trees saved my life, but the problem is I just left the bank 30mins ago, and the journey remains two nights and three more days. 
>> Those trees saved my life, but the problem was I just left the bank 30 minutes earlier, and the journey would still take three more days.
Because of the current, my friends couldn't reach me. 
>> Correct
They were slightly getting far away from me. 
>> Correct
At that moment, that area had no mobile phone signal. 
>> At that moment, there was no mobile phone signal in that area.
And we've got no equipment to contact such as a satellite phone or walkie-talkie. 
>> We also had no equipment to use in order to contact others such as a satellite, a phone or a walkie-talkie. 
It seemed I should be there until my friends reached the finish line. 
>> It seemed I would be there until my friends reached the finish line. 
For two nights and three days. 
>> It would last three days and two nights.
That river was famous for saltwater crocs, freshwater crocs and many wild animals. 
>> Correct
The weather was scorching, and half of my body sunk in the water, making me colder. 
>> The weather was scorching, and half of my body was under the water, making me feel colder. 
It is threatening my life to be dead. 
>> It was threatening my life. 
My brain worked with a superpower. 
>> Correct
I imagined all the possibilities that I could make to save myself.
>> I imagined all the possibilities that could save myself.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117343 Describe how it feels to be an English learner. What... ÇÑ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 375
117342 Give me one big mistake that you have done and what lesson have... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 587
117341 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 1
117340 Do you think voting for the lesser evil is better than not... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 354
117339 Alien ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 520
117338 3/14 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 598
117337 Sad Dependence on Oblivion ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 597
117336 About Gayageum ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 2
117335 Do young people use their cell phones too much? Do you think... Àü*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 676
117334 Do you agree that changes in the business and economic sector... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 191
117333 Give me one big mistake that you have done and what lesson have... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 660
117332 Exciting experience ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 704
117331 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 404
117330 What fruits do you like to most? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 128
117329 What are the signs of aging that you feel at this point in your... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 3
117328 How many children do you want and why? Share your answer in a... ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 1
117327 What springs to mind when you hear the term ¡®junk food¡¯? - How... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 324
117326 What was the best help you have received? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 664
117325 If you were a dinosaur, which one would you be? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 187
117324 If you could change your name would you? What would it be? Why... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 172

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04