¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the capsized canoe

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-10 350

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My canoe just capsized by the current caused a bunch of dead trees. Current swallowed my canoe into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage, and I was hung on the dead trees. I was stuck in the dead trees. Those trees saved my life, but the problem is I just left the bank 30mins ago, and the journey remains two nights and three more days. Because of the current, my friends couldn't reach me. They were slightly getting far away from me. At that moment, that area had no mobile phone signal. And we've got no equipment to contact such as a satellite phone or walkie-talkie. It seemed I should be there until my friends reached the finish line. For two nights and three days. That river was famous for saltwater crocs, freshwater crocs and many wild animals. The weather was scorching, and half of my body sunk in the water, making me colder. It is threatening my life to be dead. My brain worked with a superpower. I imagined all the possibilities that I could make to save myself.....

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!
Thank you for you composition.
Take note of the suggestions below.
If you have questions, please clarify with your teacher.
You can also ask me next time we get the chance to talk.
Happy weekend!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
My canoe just capsized by the current caused a bunch of dead trees. 
>> My canoe just capsized because of the current caused by a bunch of dead trees. 
Current swallowed my canoe into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage, and I was hung on the dead trees. 
>> The current swept my canoe away into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage while I kept hanging on to dead trees. 
I was stuck in the dead trees. 
>> I was stuck with the dead trees. 
Those trees saved my life, but the problem is I just left the bank 30mins ago, and the journey remains two nights and three more days. 
>> Those trees saved my life, but the problem was I just left the bank 30 minutes earlier, and the journey would still take three more days.
Because of the current, my friends couldn't reach me. 
>> Correct
They were slightly getting far away from me. 
>> Correct
At that moment, that area had no mobile phone signal. 
>> At that moment, there was no mobile phone signal in that area.
And we've got no equipment to contact such as a satellite phone or walkie-talkie. 
>> We also had no equipment to use in order to contact others such as a satellite, a phone or a walkie-talkie. 
It seemed I should be there until my friends reached the finish line. 
>> It seemed I would be there until my friends reached the finish line. 
For two nights and three days. 
>> It would last three days and two nights.
That river was famous for saltwater crocs, freshwater crocs and many wild animals. 
>> Correct
The weather was scorching, and half of my body sunk in the water, making me colder. 
>> The weather was scorching, and half of my body was under the water, making me feel colder. 
It is threatening my life to be dead. 
>> It was threatening my life. 
My brain worked with a superpower. 
>> Correct
I imagined all the possibilities that I could make to save myself.
>> I imagined all the possibilities that could save myself.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120878 Are men better chefs than women or are women better chefs than... ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 404
120877 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1
120876 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 340
120875 What is the difference between \'house\' and \'home\'? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 616
120874 homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 426
120873 gay rights Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1
120872 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 0
120871 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 371
120870 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 416
120869 Reality show ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1
120868 I can become a vegetarian not a vegan ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 443
120867 family ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 409
120866 How do you feel the evening before the weekend starts? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 2
120865 transportation ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 429
120864 What do you think of space tourism? (Traveling to outer space) ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1
120863 Which do you like better, to be the interviewer or the person... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 4
120862 Do you think that religion is important? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 586
120861 What was your best trip? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 578
120860 7/18 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 468
120859 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 511

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04