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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

the capsized canoe

작성자: 이*
2022-06-10 365

회원님의 영작문

My canoe just capsized by the current caused a bunch of dead trees. Current swallowed my canoe into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage, and I was hung on the dead trees. I was stuck in the dead trees. Those trees saved my life, but the problem is I just left the bank 30mins ago, and the journey remains two nights and three more days. Because of the current, my friends couldn't reach me. They were slightly getting far away from me. At that moment, that area had no mobile phone signal. And we've got no equipment to contact such as a satellite phone or walkie-talkie. It seemed I should be there until my friends reached the finish line. For two nights and three days. That river was famous for saltwater crocs, freshwater crocs and many wild animals. The weather was scorching, and half of my body sunk in the water, making me colder. It is threatening my life to be dead. My brain worked with a superpower. I imagined all the possibilities that I could make to save myself.....

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Lim!
Thank you for you composition.
Take note of the suggestions below.
If you have questions, please clarify with your teacher.
You can also ask me next time we get the chance to talk.
Happy weekend!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
My canoe just capsized by the current caused a bunch of dead trees. 
>> My canoe just capsized because of the current caused by a bunch of dead trees. 
Current swallowed my canoe into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage, and I was hung on the dead trees. 
>> The current swept my canoe away into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage while I kept hanging on to dead trees. 
I was stuck in the dead trees. 
>> I was stuck with the dead trees. 
Those trees saved my life, but the problem is I just left the bank 30mins ago, and the journey remains two nights and three more days. 
>> Those trees saved my life, but the problem was I just left the bank 30 minutes earlier, and the journey would still take three more days.
Because of the current, my friends couldn't reach me. 
>> Correct
They were slightly getting far away from me. 
>> Correct
At that moment, that area had no mobile phone signal. 
>> At that moment, there was no mobile phone signal in that area.
And we've got no equipment to contact such as a satellite phone or walkie-talkie. 
>> We also had no equipment to use in order to contact others such as a satellite, a phone or a walkie-talkie. 
It seemed I should be there until my friends reached the finish line. 
>> It seemed I would be there until my friends reached the finish line. 
For two nights and three days. 
>> It would last three days and two nights.
That river was famous for saltwater crocs, freshwater crocs and many wild animals. 
>> Correct
The weather was scorching, and half of my body sunk in the water, making me colder. 
>> The weather was scorching, and half of my body was under the water, making me feel colder. 
It is threatening my life to be dead. 
>> It was threatening my life. 
My brain worked with a superpower. 
>> Correct
I imagined all the possibilities that I could make to save myself.
>> I imagined all the possibilities that could save myself.
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