¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

the capsized canoe

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-10 375

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My canoe just capsized by the current caused a bunch of dead trees. Current swallowed my canoe into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage, and I was hung on the dead trees. I was stuck in the dead trees. Those trees saved my life, but the problem is I just left the bank 30mins ago, and the journey remains two nights and three more days. Because of the current, my friends couldn't reach me. They were slightly getting far away from me. At that moment, that area had no mobile phone signal. And we've got no equipment to contact such as a satellite phone or walkie-talkie. It seemed I should be there until my friends reached the finish line. For two nights and three days. That river was famous for saltwater crocs, freshwater crocs and many wild animals. The weather was scorching, and half of my body sunk in the water, making me colder. It is threatening my life to be dead. My brain worked with a superpower. I imagined all the possibilities that I could make to save myself.....

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!
Thank you for you composition.
Take note of the suggestions below.
If you have questions, please clarify with your teacher.
You can also ask me next time we get the chance to talk.
Happy weekend!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
My canoe just capsized by the current caused a bunch of dead trees. 
>> My canoe just capsized because of the current caused by a bunch of dead trees. 
Current swallowed my canoe into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage, and I was hung on the dead trees. 
>> The current swept my canoe away into the river and had just gone far away with my luggage while I kept hanging on to dead trees. 
I was stuck in the dead trees. 
>> I was stuck with the dead trees. 
Those trees saved my life, but the problem is I just left the bank 30mins ago, and the journey remains two nights and three more days. 
>> Those trees saved my life, but the problem was I just left the bank 30 minutes earlier, and the journey would still take three more days.
Because of the current, my friends couldn't reach me. 
>> Correct
They were slightly getting far away from me. 
>> Correct
At that moment, that area had no mobile phone signal. 
>> At that moment, there was no mobile phone signal in that area.
And we've got no equipment to contact such as a satellite phone or walkie-talkie. 
>> We also had no equipment to use in order to contact others such as a satellite, a phone or a walkie-talkie. 
It seemed I should be there until my friends reached the finish line. 
>> It seemed I would be there until my friends reached the finish line. 
For two nights and three days. 
>> It would last three days and two nights.
That river was famous for saltwater crocs, freshwater crocs and many wild animals. 
>> Correct
The weather was scorching, and half of my body sunk in the water, making me colder. 
>> The weather was scorching, and half of my body was under the water, making me feel colder. 
It is threatening my life to be dead. 
>> It was threatening my life. 
My brain worked with a superpower. 
>> Correct
I imagined all the possibilities that I could make to save myself.
>> I imagined all the possibilities that could save myself.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121146 Why did you choose your major? Do you have any regrets? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 521
121145 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 680
121144 Previous class review 1 À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 4
121143 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 634
121142 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 591
121141 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 1
121140 What do you think about being close with your coworkers? is it... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 747
121139 Can you tell me something about your major and the reason you... ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 484
121138 Have you ever missed a train or plane? What happened? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 2
121137 Have you ever felt like giving up studying English? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 0
121136 travelling Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 1
121135 How does body language help you to communicate? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 0
121134 07.27.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 1
121133 Describe a time in your life when you felt sad ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 0
121132 Should public transport be free? Why or why not? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 1
121131 What is your dream car? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 4
121130 If you were invited to a fancy dinner with the president or a... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 519
121129 7/27 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 706
121128 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 699
121127 ? ±è*¿± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 781

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04