¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your most dangerous experience in life?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-10 721

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

One thing popped up when I was in Australia.
I went to a river to cross for three days. My friends and I rented a canoe and packed some camp equipment. At the river, human hands made nothing, and we just held a map that someone drew. We ought to freely go canoeing for 3days without a guide, GPS, navigation system or motor boat but the silly map.
The weather was so lovely and clear. Well, it was scorching, but I had already got used to the weather there. And the river had quite enough current because it was at the end of the wet season. So it rained a lot for the past few months, yet draught. It was fine for canoeing.
It happened at the very beginning, about 30mins after we left the bank.
But I was nervous. This was my first time canoeing on the vast river, especially for a few days, so I was quite a bit stupid at the beginning of the journey. I needed some more trials to start.
Well, however, the current never let me as I wanted to.

to be continued...

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!  

I would love to hear the rest of it tomorrow. Hahaha!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

One thing popped up when I was in Australia.
>> One thing that popped up in my mind and that is when I was in Australia. 

I went to a river to cross for three days. 
>> I crossed a river for 3 days. 

My friends and I rented a canoe and packed some camp equipment. 
>> CORRECT

At the river, human hands made nothing, and we just held a map that someone drew. 
>> There were no man made things there. We just held a map the someone drew. 

We ought to freely go canoeing for 3days without a guide, GPS, navigation system or motor boat but the silly map.
>> CORRECT

The weather was so lovely and clear. 
>> CORRECT

Well, it was scorching, but I had already got used to the weather there. 
>> CORRECT

And the river had quite enough current because it was at the end of the wet season. 
>> CORRECT

So it rained a lot for the past few months, yet draught.
>> It was raining for the past few months, yet it was still draught. 

It was fine for canoeing.
>> Everything was fine when we were canoeing. 

It happened at the very beginning, about 30mins after we left the bank.
>> CORRECT

But I was nervous. 
>> Although, I was nervous at that time. 

This was my first time canoeing on the vast river, especially for a few days, so I was quite a bit stupid at the beginning of the journey. 
>> CORRECT

I needed some more trials to start.
>> CORRECT

Well, however, the current never let me as I wanted to.
>> However, the current never let me have the control that I wanted to. 

to be continued.
>> To be continued. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117467 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 449
117466 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 592
117465 What are your weaknesses? Explain in detail. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 524
117464 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 505
117463 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 818
117462 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117461 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 485
117460 ESSAY: Parents should be held responsible for their children\'s... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 359
117459 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 603
117458 ESSAY: Morals or money? Which one is necessary to survive?... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 500
117457 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117456 If you were a celebrity, what kind of movie would you like to... ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 428
117455 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 3
117454 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 772
117453 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 1
117452 1. Do you think that a heart transplant from a pig is a medical... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 3
117451 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 522
117450 If you can learn another language, what would it be and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117449 Why Fintech? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 773
117448 High Hopes ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 594

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04