¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your most dangerous experience in life?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-06-10 666

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

One thing popped up when I was in Australia.
I went to a river to cross for three days. My friends and I rented a canoe and packed some camp equipment. At the river, human hands made nothing, and we just held a map that someone drew. We ought to freely go canoeing for 3days without a guide, GPS, navigation system or motor boat but the silly map.
The weather was so lovely and clear. Well, it was scorching, but I had already got used to the weather there. And the river had quite enough current because it was at the end of the wet season. So it rained a lot for the past few months, yet draught. It was fine for canoeing.
It happened at the very beginning, about 30mins after we left the bank.
But I was nervous. This was my first time canoeing on the vast river, especially for a few days, so I was quite a bit stupid at the beginning of the journey. I needed some more trials to start.
Well, however, the current never let me as I wanted to.

to be continued...

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim!  

I would love to hear the rest of it tomorrow. Hahaha!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

One thing popped up when I was in Australia.
>> One thing that popped up in my mind and that is when I was in Australia. 

I went to a river to cross for three days. 
>> I crossed a river for 3 days. 

My friends and I rented a canoe and packed some camp equipment. 
>> CORRECT

At the river, human hands made nothing, and we just held a map that someone drew. 
>> There were no man made things there. We just held a map the someone drew. 

We ought to freely go canoeing for 3days without a guide, GPS, navigation system or motor boat but the silly map.
>> CORRECT

The weather was so lovely and clear. 
>> CORRECT

Well, it was scorching, but I had already got used to the weather there. 
>> CORRECT

And the river had quite enough current because it was at the end of the wet season. 
>> CORRECT

So it rained a lot for the past few months, yet draught.
>> It was raining for the past few months, yet it was still draught. 

It was fine for canoeing.
>> Everything was fine when we were canoeing. 

It happened at the very beginning, about 30mins after we left the bank.
>> CORRECT

But I was nervous. 
>> Although, I was nervous at that time. 

This was my first time canoeing on the vast river, especially for a few days, so I was quite a bit stupid at the beginning of the journey. 
>> CORRECT

I needed some more trials to start.
>> CORRECT

Well, however, the current never let me as I wanted to.
>> However, the current never let me have the control that I wanted to. 

to be continued.
>> To be continued. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121782 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 720
121781 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 4
121780 Is getting angry an effective way of dealing with problems? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1058
121779 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 536
121778 08.22.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 2
121777 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 2
121776 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 924
121775 What movies do you like watching and what movies do you dislike... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1615
121774 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1
121773 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 600
121772 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1015
121771 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1
121770 If you were invited to a fancy dinner with the president or a... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1282
121769 Can you name them? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1451
121768 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1895
121767 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1
121766 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1
121765 Are there any special groups or days where people clean up trash... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1170
121764 What is one thing that only you can do? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1143
121763 My status in life ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04