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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What kind of a leader do you think your country needs?

작성자: 문*현
2022-06-05 187

회원님의 영작문

South Korea requires leaders with cooperation and integrity. Our country is divisive in any realm of culture, such as gender, age, level of education, etc. There could be various contributing factors, but I believe politics has incited such division. Such a trend comes from political parties bringing up the commitment that benefits one part of society. The current government has made, during the election, prioritized the male population with pledges such as abolishing the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family. Then there is integrity. The leader should be truthful rather than disguise one defects with gossip. The ruling and opposition parties have gained support from the media. Those news outlets broadcast the content that benefits one political party. Even with the same events, the analysis may differ based on the channel, making the supporters claim their counterparts as fake news. The media should be the neutral source, and neutrality can only be accomplished by leaders’ integrity.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Aciel! The media is indeed a very significant medium to influence public opinion. It should be utilized appropriately with truth and transparency.

South Korea requires leaders with cooperation and integrity. 
>>> correct
>>> OR: South Korea is in great need for leaders with cooperation and integrity.    
Our country is divisive in any realm of culture, such as gender, age, level of education, etc. 
>>>  correct 
There could be various contributing factors, but I believe politics has incited such division. 
>>>  correct 
Such a trend comes from political parties bringing up the commitment that benefits one part of society. 
>>> correct  
The current government has made, during the election, prioritized the male population with pledges such as abolishing the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family. 
>>> The current government has made, during the election, a priority the male population with pledges such as abolishing the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family.  
Then there is integrity. 
>>> OR: The current government, during the election, has prioritized the male population with pledges such as abolishing the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family. 
The leader should be truthful rather than disguise one defects with gossip. 
>>>  correct    
The ruling and opposition parties have gained support from the media. 
>>> correct     
Those news outlets broadcast the content that benefits one political party. 
>>>  correct    
Even with the same events, the analysis may differ based on the channel, making the supporters claim their counterparts as fake news. 
>>>  correct    
The media should be the neutral source, and neutrality can only be accomplished by leaders’ integrity.
>>>   correct   
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