¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that you should change your eating habits?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-06-04 512

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I can do it. But it's hard to change my eating habits that I usually eat food at midnight. It's because I feel very be hangry at that time. And I enjoy eating ramen, chicken, pizza and hamburger at midnight. It can make me getting more full than eating at other times. So it should take a long time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic!  

I'm guilty of that as well but we need to change it because it is bad for our health. hahaha!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Yes, I can do it. But it's hard to change my eating habits that I usually eat food at midnight. 
>> Yes, I can do it but it's hard to change my eating habits wherein I eat food during midnight. 

It's because I feel very be hangry at that time. 
>> It's because I feel very hangry at that time. 

And I enjoy eating ramen, chicken, pizza and hamburger at midnight. 
>> CORRECT

It can make me getting more full than eating at other times. 
>> It can make me more full than eating other food sometimes. 

So it should take a long time.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119581 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 335
119580 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119579 Are you a patient person? Is it difficult or easy for you? Is it... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 524
119578 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 391
119577 About common problems when traveling ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119576 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 2
119575 How does your family decide who does various chores around the... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 3
119574 Proverb ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 2
119573 Do you think it\'s a good idea to find a partner through dating... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 465
119572 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 345
119571 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119570 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119569 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119568 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119567 How did the pandemic affect you the most? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 470
119566 What is one food you can\'t live without? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119565 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 234
119564 How to relieve stress? ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 413
119563 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 339
119562 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 326

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04