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What should governments be doing about monkey pox? What might happen in society if monkey pox become

작성자: 문*현
2022-06-04 106

회원님의 영작문

In my perspective, the government should not be overreacting about monkeypox. The reason is that hatred towards homosexuality would rise if monkeypox became pandemic. Many articles relate the surge in monkeypox infection to the super events with the messy sexual life of the gay and lesbian population. Since Korean society is not accommodative of homosexuality, the image of those people has been aggravated. Then, there has been increasing government intervention. Considering the infectious speed, the government has been considering designating the virus as to level two disease equivalent to the COVID-19. It is understandable because many governments have been criticized in the early stage of COVID-19 for not tackling the virus in an agile manner, leading to a high mortality rate. However, COVID-19 was a foreign virus with no vaccination. Many countries hoard vaccines for monkeypox with less fatality rate. Accordingly, we should be cautious, but there is no need for overreaction.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Than you for this Aciel!

In my perspective, the government should not be overreacting about monkeypox. 
>>> correct   
The reason is that hatred towards homosexuality would rise if monkeypox became pandemic. 
>>> correct   
Many articles relate the surge in monkeypox infection to the super events with the messy sexual life of the gay and lesbian population. 
>>> OR: Many articles relate the surge in monkeypox infection to the messy sexual life of the gay and lesbian population.   
Since Korean society is not accommodative of homosexuality, the image of those people has been aggravated. 
>>> OR: Since Korean society is not accommodating towards homosexuality, the image of those people has been aggravated.    
Then, there has been increasing government intervention. 
>>> Then, there has been an increasing government intervention.   
Considering the infectious speed, the government has been considering designating the virus as to level two disease equivalent to the COVID-19.
>>> correct   
>>> OR:  Considering the infectious speed, the government has been considering categorizing the virus at level two disease equivalent to the COVID-19. 
It is understandable because many governments have been criticized in the early stage of COVID-19 for not tackling the virus in an agile manner, leading to a high mortality rate. 
>>>   correct
>>> OR: It is reasonable because many governments have been criticized in the early stage of COVID-19 for not tackling the virus in an agile manner, leading to a high mortality rate
However, COVID-19 was a foreign virus with no vaccination. 
>>>   correct 
Many countries hoard vaccines for monkeypox with less fatality rate. 
>>>   correct 
Accordingly, we should be cautious, but there is no need for overreaction.
>>>   correct 

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