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Do you think it\'s a good idea to find a partner through dating apps?

작성자: 황*하
2022-06-03 308

회원님의 영작문

In modern society, there are few chances to meet someone without using computer. It is new nomal to use a smart phone in any situation that are finding information, reading news, playing game and studying subjects. Dating app is one of the popular applications when people find their partner for fun or dating. We become busier since internet has been commecialized. We expected that work would be easier, faster and more convient than we use to be. However, there are countless emails that have to reply. Since automatic machines are introduced, workers can't have a break time until machines stopped. Although, it is difficult to meet new friends due to environment, I believe that the best way to find a partner is meeting in the society such as hobby clubs, school and neighbors. There are a lot of requirment when men and women are looking for their partner like financial and social status, personalities and background of family. To meet these requiremet, many company provide various services

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

In modern society, there are few chances to meet someone without using computer. 
>> CORRECT!
It is new nomal to use a smart phone in any situation that are finding information, reading news, playing game and studying subjects. 
>> It is a part of the "new nomal" to use a smart phone in any situation such as finding information, reading news, playing games, and studying subjects. 
Dating app is one of the popular applications when people find their partner for fun or dating. 
>> Dating app is one of the popular applications where people find their partner for fun or dating. 
We become busier since internet has been commecialized. 
>> We become busier since internet has been commercialized. 
We expected that work would be easier, faster and more convient than we use to be. 
>> We expect that work would be easier, faster, and more convenient than it used to be. 
OR >> We expect that work would be easier, faster, and more convenient than before. 
However, there are countless emails that have to reply. 
>> However, there are countless emails that need a reply. 
Since automatic machines are introduced, workers can't have a break time until machines stopped.
>> Since automatic machines are introduced, workers can't have a break time until machines stop.
Although, it is difficult to meet new friends due to environment, I believe that the best way to find a partner is meeting in the society such as hobby clubs, school and neighbors. 
>> Although, it is difficult to meet new friends due to our environment, I believe that the best way to find a partner is meeting them socially such as in clubs, school, work, or even the neighborhood.
There are a lot of requirment when men and women are looking for their partner like financial and social status, personalities and background of family. 
>> There are a lot of requirments when men and women are looking for their partner, like financial and social status, personalities and family background. 
To meet these requiremet, many company provide various services
>> To meet these requirements, many companies provide various services.


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